


Till the Bitter End Side Stories

by dt101



Series: Vika Universe [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:56:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11833029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dt101/pseuds/dt101
Summary: Some alternative endings from Till the Bitter EndAll stories are one shots





	1. Chapter 1

“You're back!” Orsino said entering the room excitement in his voice.

“Yes” Meredith said quietly “I have something to show you. Come here.” He stepped over past the table to her side. She grabbed his hand and lay it on her stomach.

“What am I feeling here?” he said having a sneaking suspicion.

“I've quickened.” she said quietly as if to not upset him. Very out of her character for her,

“What?” He said eyes widening “You are...?”

“With child” she said reluctantly.

There was silence. You could almost feel the anxiety pulse off Meredith. Orsino struggled to think of an appropriate response.

“Its mine?” he said stumbling over the words. Dammit he shouldn't have insinuated such a thing.

“What kind of woman do you think I am?” she said clearly put off. He sighed.

“I did not mean that, I...just... I'm not sure what to make of this.”

“I'm having the child. I have to I'm nearly five months along its too late for whorehouse tea.”

“But what of the child? What if they look like me? What are you going to do?”

“I will take a leave of absence. Say I am going to Highever to take care of my cousin and his wife... and their new baby. My 'cousin' will happen to die along with his wife. Leaving the child in my care.”

“You've definitely thought about this. Is there... any chance I may come along?”

“No! Of course not it'd would be suspicious. Well even more suspicious then what it already is. This child looking like you has me terrified clearly it won't look exactly like you as the child will be human but its just...” She stopped and sighed. “I just hope they look like me.”

 

* * * 

 

Meredith arrived back in the Gallows one evening in late Drakonis of the new year.

She held the tiny baby tight as she ordered her assistant to get a wet nurse.

“Ser, Where do you even find a wet nurse?” the young Knight said

“Void if I know ask for a midwife they'll probably know.” she said curtly.

“What is the child’s name?” the assistant asked peering over the edge of the bundle.

She shifted and attempting to cover the child’s face again. Not knowing why people will eventually realize the baby looked like her.

“Her name is Vika Stannard, she is my cousins daughter. My fathers brothers grandchild.”

“Your cousin must've looked like you Ser, she could be yours.”

Meredith dismissed him and yelled for another Knight.

“You, go into Hightown and get a bassinet and a cradle. You will be compensated.”

She retired to her quarters and lay the baby on the bed. She squirmed and began to fuss. 

“I can't feed you yet a stranger might come in and catch us.” she said quietly rubbing the girls cheek.

Her assistant knocked on the door shortly after.

“Knight Commander.” said the young woman who looked bedraggled “Its nice to meet your acquaintance. Is that the girl?” she said gesturing to the bundle on the bed.

“Yes” she said 

“Will you be needing me at all hours, just the night or just the day.” the woman asked.

“Just the day.”

“You will nurse her at night?”

The Knight standing at the door looked uncomfortable.

“No” she snapped. “she isn't my child. She is my cousins child who was left in my care.”

“Oh sorry I just assumed.”

“Well don't. I will be subsidizing with goats milk at night.”

“Okay, I will come by your office at sunrise then,”

“Yes, that sounds good I will see you then.” as they were finishing up the other Knight brought up a small wooden crib.

“I left the bassinet in your office is that okay? I can go get it and bring it up.” he sputtered

“That was where I had intended to put it, thank you.”  
She dismissed the two Knights and the wet nurse and closed the door.

She settled back on the bed and unwrapped the baby. She changed into a loose nightgown and lay back on the bed and began nursing the infant.

There was a knock at the door and she prepared to cover herself. 

“Who is it?” she shouted startling the baby.

“Me” Orsino said through the door.

She heard him open the quarters door, close it. and lock it behind him. He rapped on the sleeping room door and opened it slowly.

He was surprised to see the little baby nursing on his lover.

“Is it?” he asked reluctantly

“A girl. I named her Vika.”

“After my grandmother” he said with a smile.

“Yes.” she said not looking up at him.

“May I hold her?”

“In a few minutes, wait until she is full.”

He slid into the bed next to Meredith and kissed her neck.

“There we go she's done.”

He held out his arms and she lay the babies tiny form in his arms.

“Careful of her neck.” He held to his chest and rocked her slightly.

“She is so small.”

“She has gotten a lot bigger since she was born. She was exceptionally tiny.”

“She wasn't early?” he asked concerned.

“No, it wasn't possible and she didn't have the breathing issues premature babies have,” He smiled and brushed his fingers through her blonde curls.

“She looks like you.” He kissed the babies head. “I have never felt such joy and happiness.” He said smiling.

“It's called love.” she whispered as if ashamed. He kissed her.

“Want to put her in the crib?”

“Yes” she said pulling off her nightgown.

He lay the baby gently in the crib and returned to the bed.

 

* * * 

 

They continued playing family for a couple years. Things fell apart shortly after Orsino was made First Enchanter.

She stopped letting him see Vika.  
“She's old enough to repeat what she sees I can't have you in here.”

He took it very personally.

 

* * * 

 

When Vika was six she knocked on the door of Meredith's office.

“Auntie? Can I ask you about something?” she said

Meredith looked up from her paperwork.

“What is it little one?”

“Is my family my real family?”

“Where did this come from today?”

“One of the girls at the school at the Chantry said I was probably a bastard.”

“That's not true. Your father...” she started to panic.

“Is he really my father?”

“Of course.”

“I don't believe you.”

She left the room and ran off.

Meredith caught her head in her hands.

'Oh no she started to doubt the story. What will I do if Orsino tells her. She likes him more then me she'd more likely believe him.'

 

* * * 

 

Four years later Vika paid Orsino a visit.

“First Enchanter.” she said closing the door behind her.

“Vika. Hello, what brings you here today?”

She walked over to his desk reached out her hands and a small flame danced across her palms.

“Makers breath.” he said astonished

“You can't tell Auntie, she'll make me join the Circle and I don't want to do that. I know shes trying to annul the Circle even if that didn't happen I know about things. I know what a Harrowing is and I don't think I'll be able to do that.” She sputtered very quickly.

“Calm down, breathe. We'll deal with this. I have been putting money aside since you were a baby in case something like this came up. We'll get you out of here and hide you somewhere Meredith can't find you. Anywhere but here.”

“Why did you think I'd be a mage? Why did you put away money for me? I know you and Auntie used to be friends but.”

“We were more then friends. I... I am your father.” Her blue eyes bugged out of her head.

“But my father was Willis Stannard from Highever my mum was Flora Stannard.”

“A lie concocted when you were barely a quickening in your mothers womb.”

“Meredith is my mother?” her eyes widened.

“Yes, child, but we can't have that getting out.”

“Sweet Andraste.”

“Shhh, we might keep this a secret between you and me while I figure out where to send you.”

“Okay.”

 

He immediately started writing letter to his sisters who were spread among alienages across Thedas. One in Ansburg where they grew up, one in Cumberland and one in Val Rouyeux. He begged them to take his daughter. He received letters back from all of them and only the one in Orlais agreed to help him. She, Ophelia, took the sum of money he sent her and travelled to the Free Marches.

He collected Vika in her bedroom in the converted store room down the hall from Meredith's quarters. He smuggled her down to the docks hexing several Templars on the way.

“This is you Aunt Ophelia. She'll take care of you I promise.”  
She threw herself at him burying her face into his chest.

He held her tight as he did ten years prior and felt the same elation he did then. He had to lie to her since she was old enough to comprehend what a father was. He had to.

“I love you. Never forget that.” he said his voice husky.

“Tell Auntie...Mere...My mother I love her.” she whispered.

He let her go and she left never to be seen by him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a rumour that Orsino survived the Kirkwall Rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dialogue heavy fyi  
> if you have any short suggestions let me know in the comments

There was a long silence in the room. You could cut the tension with a knife.

“Are...are you sure? You're not mixing anything up?” Vika broke the silence

“She told me herself it was the First Enchanter. He used to visit you when you were little, Why would he care about you if you weren't his?”

“I..I don't know.”

She looked away disgusted by herself. She could barely comprehend that that woman was her mother but to throw this on top of it. Why did it have to be him? She'd feel less guilt if the man had been rented for the night. Well... that would be a whole other issue but she didn't have to contemplate that.

“You know, I heard a rumour.” Ilya said quietly.

“What now? My grandmother was a Tevinter Magister or something?”

“No. That he is still alive.”

“Who?” she said exacerbated.

“Your father.”

“That's absurd everyone with ears knows what happened in Kirkwall. He basically killed himself like a coward. He is dead.”

She damn well knew it too. Knowing her father was dead made it final. Her mother was a petrified red lyrium husk and her father was dead. That was the truth. Everyone know that. 

 

* * *

Vika joined the College of Enchanters after the Inquisition disbanded.

“My father was a First Enchanter but I was raised by a seamstress and she kept me away from the Circle during the years of turbulence.” 

That’s what she told her peers

“Free Marches” was her vague response when people asked which First Enchanter it was. That was until one day a junior enchanter she had made acquaintance with asked,

“Was is Orsino? He comes here every couple months. Maybe you can finally meet him.” She shook her head violently 

“He's dead. He died when I was eleven years old.”

“No. I've seen him myself. They purposefully spread that he became a monster and died after he went into hiding after the rebellion in Kirkwall. To be honest he isn't the most impressive guy. He's an old grey elf but he is very kind and has a good sense of humour.”

Vika was frozen. She couldn't process it. He was alive? Did he know she was alive? If he did why didn't he try to find her?

* * *

She waited diligently for months until the day came when the enchanter she confided in came and poked his head into her quarters and said,

“He's here, downstairs.”

Her heart started pounding. There was lump the size of an apple in her throat as she followed him down the stairs to the common room.

Orsino stood in the common room talking to another older man. She remember flashes of him from his visits in her childhood but he looked older. His hair was now solid grey, slight wrinkles marred his sharp face, and there were predominant bags under his eyes.

She walked up to him not knowing what to say and waited a moment while he finished his exchange with the other man.

“Hello,” he said with a smile turning to her. He paused and blinked at her clearly taken aback, “Makers breath. Are you Vika?” 

“Yes” she mumbled “I...uh... heard you visited and I've been waiting to see you.”

“Can we speak privately later tonight?”

She was disappointed he wasn't demanding instantly to speak with his long lost daughter but she figured he didn't want to drop everything and sneak off to chat with a girl no one knew was his.

* * *

She waited several hours, stomach churning with anxiety. The room emptied and she lit a candle on the table.

It seemed like it had been days when he walked back into the common room. He glanced around the room making sure they were alone before starting,

“Sorry, I don't visit often and there are a lot of affairs I need to see to when I am here.”

She stood up to meet him face to face.

“I assume you know who I am?”

“Yes.” she whispered.

“I never thought I see you again.” He grabbed her and held her to his chest. He laughed awkwardly “I've never held you before. Isn't that sick. You're eighteen years old and I've never held you, not even once.” He let go and held her arms.

“Maker. You are the very image of your mother at your age.”

She didn't know what to say. Her mind was racing with every question she had ever thought she'd ask her parents but none of them were coming out.

“Did you....did you love my mother?”

“Once upon a time yes. When you were born, yes. I actually asked her to marry me, Twice. But she said no both times. Obviously”

“When did you ask her?”

“Once was when she was carrying you. I wanted to do the right thing but she said no.”

“The other time?”

“I hoped you wouldn't ask about that but, you were five, there was another pregnancy which unfortunately ended in miscarriage. But she wasn't planning on keeping that child either. That child, we had broken off our relationship but she insisted on having 'one last night' But I doubt you want to hear about our nights together.”

She was blank she struggled to think of something and then,

“How could you?” She sputtered. She would've asked her mother the exact same thing.

“Could what?”

“Have an affair with a Templar. A Templar sleeping with a mage. It's traitorous for both parties.”

His face dropped,

“You can't help who you fall in love with.”

“But.,.you.,. How could you let your guard down like that. You conceived not just me but another child. What were you thinking?” her voice was husky

“I don't want to make it seem like your existence is invalid, I am glad you were born but it wasn't planned. An accident, a slip of the mind, an improperly mixed contraceptive tea.

“Why did she abandon me as it was nothing?” she was fighting back tears. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“That was her decision. I will have to preface that she loved you despite everything. I would have accepted you as my child in a heartbeat. But she couldn't, she feared the backlash. It would've been a scandal, the Knight Commander having an illegitimate child would've ruined her reputation and she feared you may have looked like me. We were friendly for years and more then that for three years before she got pregnant. It was rumoured in the Gallows that it was more then platonic. It wasn't of course but those rumours were squashed as fast as they appeared. It you had black hair and green eyes with an even stronger chin it would've be rather suspicious. Your mother, the one who raised you, was destined to be your mother. Not Meredith, she would have had no idea what to do with you. Especially when you developed magic. She would've lost it.”

“She would've hated me.” Vika sniffed

“She never actually told me but I know she loved me at one time and I'm a mage, and I'm not her child. It would've been complicated in the last few years. She had a sword forged with red lyrium. This was before everything happened, before the red Templar's. She would've hated the red Templar's if I knew her at all. But you know what red lyrium does? It drove her mad.”

Vika was overwhelmed she sat down on one of the chairs.

“Shit” she said holding her head in her hands.

“I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. You could come with me I need an assistant and my only child would be the perfect match.” he smiled and reached out his hand,

“I...I would like that.”

 

* * *

“Orsino?” Vika said 

“You can call me father if you like.” he said from his barrel in the corner of the ship they were travelling to Orlais on.

“How did you meet my mother?” she asked curiously.

“That is a weird story.” he sighed “I met her the day she started working at the Circle. She was only sixteen, just a child. I introduced myself like the gentleman I am. She turned the colour of a beet and shuffled off as if she was scared of me. Now that I think about it she may have been. But a few months later I came back to my quarters and she was rummaging through my journals and Knight Commander Guylain had my lover in his grasp. She opened my journal to a particularly evident page and they took my lover away, sent her to Antiva if I remember correctly.”

“Maker, what a bitch.” He laughed 

“That’s what I thought but Maker that was at least thirty years ago.”

“How old are you now?”

“I'm sixty-four”

“You were kinda old when I was born.”

“You were born two weeks before my forty-sixth birthday.”

“Was my mother that old?”

“No she wasn't yet thirty.”

“How did you forgive her after she sent your lover away?”

“It took a while. I wonder if she felt guilty.” he shrugged.

“How long was in between you meeting and when you... you know.”

“Became lovers? It was let me think... my memory isn't as good as it was, eight years. She was twenty-five I was forty-one.” he ran his fingers through his hair. “It was a long time coming honestly. There was a clear unspoken attraction for a while before the incident.”

“What incident?” Vika was now invested.

“When Knight Commander Guylain was hanged the Templar's marched on the Viscount Keep there was a fair amount of bloodshed. Meredith took a pretty severe wound to the leg but it wasn't until she collapsed after the incident had been won that there was alarm. The Knight-Corporals basically just grabbed whichever mage was on hand and it happened to be me. They dragged me to her tiny quarters where she was bleeding on the bed and demanded me fix her, She wasn't in her armour, I had never seen her without armour before. The wound was high up on her thigh and she was eyeing me as I lay my hands on her trying to knit the flesh back together as if I was going to try something. She kept me there after the Corporals left as she feared she may have a fever. She was right. I never left her side for two days until the fever broke. She told me basically her whole life story in those two days. Shortly after that, only half a year later maybe, she was named Knight-Commander, youngest ever in Kirkwall. That night we slept together for the first time. I doubt you want to hear those details.”

Vika was silent. Orsino lay his head on his raised arm.

“It occurs to me that I know pretty much nothing about you.” he said.

“Well I'm a seamstress, my mother taught me everything she knows. I like fancy dresses, perfume, jewelry, shocking my brother Aaron whenever I see him.”

“You have a brother? Did I not know that?”

“I have two Aaron is three years older then me, then there is Russell he is forty. He's married and has three kids. They both moved to the Anderfels when their grandfather died to take over his smith.”

“Their father was from the Anderfels?”

“Yeah, he died before I was born so I didn't know him.”

“What about your mother I know she was Rivaini and she drove Meredith mad.”

“I didn't know that. She made it seem like they friends or something.”

“Oh she drove Meredith crazy. I made some comment about you being a mage and she went on a tirade about how she would never turn you over to a circle.” he laughed.

“Well she didn't” He stopped laughing,

“You didn't belong to a Circle?”

“No, I was only eleven when the rebellions started and my mother was terrified Templar's murdering mages left and right. She hired a tutor for me and he taught me basically how not to get possessed, how to enchant objects, and how to pass off as not a mage.”

“I just assumed where you were at the College you had joined a Circle but you were always free. Meredith would have lost her mind.” he seemed to take pleasure in that fact. “She would have a fit hearing that.”

“Did you know I was a mage when I was a child?”

“I had a suspicion. I bought a necklace off you at the stall and it had an enchanters clasp. It could only be opened by someone with a magic touch and it seemed like you had opened it. It honestly didn't surprise me I'm a mage, my grandfather was a mage and your aunt, Meredith's sister was also a mage.”

“My aunt was a mage? Why did Meredith become a Templar? To keep an eye on her sister?”

“She became an abomination when she was only child. She killed your grandparents and seventy others in Lowtown of Kirkwall.”

“Maker, I thought that'd be something she'd forward to my mother.”

“They also say that a lot of Templar's have mage children. I don't know a lot of Templar's who had children but it seems like it could be something that could happen with all the lyrium they consume.”

“Did she consumer lyrium when she was carrying me? That doesn't seem healthy.”

“I know she did the first few months. I don't think she did later on. Unless she brought a stash to Ostwick.”

“So I know she had me in Ostwick. How long was she gone?”

“She was gone for five months. She was newly pregnant with you, apparently not acknowledging the fact that she was missing cycles and running off to the water closet on the hour. She was still in the Gallows then. Then she went on a mission out east she was a month out there. That was when they told her she was expecting you. Then she came back and I put two and two together. She barred me from seeing her after the first night back she was there for another month. So she must've been six months along, she really didn't look it. She left in Kingsway and came back in Drakonis. I don't know why she stayed there for two months after you were born. She regretted it, she got rather attached to you. It killed her her to leave you but she insisted she needed to. She could've made up some distant relative leaving a child in her care or something along those lines.”

“I am kind of glad she didn't raise me. Though I feel you would have made a good father.” He smiled.

“Void she'd let me be a father to you, What if you told someone? She would have had an aneurysm.” He laughed. “I will try to be as much of a father to you now that I could possibly be to a grown woman.”

“Sounds good.” she said smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A son is born to Meredith in 9:31

Meredith knocked on the door of Orsino's office and entered without waiting for him to respond. He was standing by the window, cup of tea in hand, watching the Templar trainees doing drills in the yard.

“I... I have to talk to you about something very important.” she said apprehensively. 

“I am taking a break, can it wait until later?” he said curtly.

“It's not business.” she hissed walking over to him.

“What then?” he snapped turning to face her.

“I'm pregnant.” she said quietly eyeing the room. His face turned, he was mortified. “It's the same, feeling, as last time.”

“Do you want me to get whorehouse tea for you. You can't be more then two months along its still safe.” He said quickly laying his tea cup on his desk.

“No. I think” she paused and sighed “I'm going to keep it.”

“You must be joking.”

“Would I jest about something like this? I will make up a dead fiancée tell Cullen about him then bring up the pregnancy once I start to show. If its anything like last time it'll be late. I just pray the child doesn't look like you.”

“But the scandal?”

“People will talk I know they will but I am only human, the 'father' died before they were even quickened it wasn't my fault he wasn't around to legitimized the child.”

 

She summoned Cullen to her office and she sat him down and put on a show. She tried so hard to summon some tears but couldn't but he lay a hand on hers when she explained that she was now alone.

She began to show sooner then she expected. Orsino told her a second pregnancy shows sooner then the first. She told Cullen and he being the dutiful Knight-Captain and confidante offered to step up in her place to train the recruits and handle the martial duties she would have to abstain from the duration of her pregnancy.

Orsino watched her everyday wanting to just feel the bump where his new child was growing. He sent her cups of tea and sent a tranquil to rub her swollen feet. He wished she would allow him to care for her but she refused insisting on doing everything herself again.

Meredith glowed. He didn't see her with her large swollen belly the first time and it entranced him. Their child was really in there. But not for long.

* * *

One day she didn't come down to her office. He stressed the entire day, taking many breaks and pacing the room. He wanted to be by her side as he had a suspicion she was likely giving birth upstairs. 

He waited until lights out and sneaked up to her tower climbing the stairs, anticipation motivating his steps.

He knocked on the door hoping no one was there. He heard her voice call out

“Who is it?”

“Me” he said

“Come in” 

He entered her quarters and noticed several gifts lying around the room on the table and floor. A hand carved wooden crib sat by the fire, empty.   
The door to her sleeping room was open and he could see her sitting in bed leaning forward. He came closer and saw the tiny baby laying on the bed in between her legs.

“Is it a girl?” He asked looking at the babies face. They looked like her minus the full head of black hair.

“It's a boy.” she said with actual cheer in her voice.

“Really?' he said 

“I assure you that he does indeed have a penis, did you need to see?” she with jest. So out of character for her.

“That isn't necessary.” He sat at the foot of the bed and looked at her with longing eyes.

“Did you want to hold him?” she asked.

“Yes.” he said shifting closer to the boy. He lifted the delicate body of the boy up and cradled him to his chest. He felt like he weighed nothing, so slight he felt the bones of his back and ribs on his arms as he held him close. “Does he have a name?”

“I named him August.”

“After your father?”

“Yes.”

“He is...perfect.” he said with the biggest smile.

“He looks like me doesn't he?” she said slyly. She was in an unusually good mood. He smiled and kissed the boys forehead.

“Did it feel like this... when Vika was born?” he asked not wanting to turn her mood.

“I am happy, very happy, but it isn't as overwhelming. He is my second child. I already felt all the emotions a new baby brings. But it is still very exciting.” 

August started wailing Orsino rocked him trying to sate him but he frustratedly passed the baby back to Meredith.

“I think he's hungry” He said carefully watching his neck and he handed the boy off.

“I'm going to feed him. Do you mind?”

“I've seen more of you then that.” he said “I'm not going to tell you you can't feed our son.” She slipped a breast out of her nightgown and the boy latched on and began sucking ravenously.

“That's my boy.” she said brushing the stray strands of black hair off his forehead. He cleared his throat.

“I will leave you to feed him and get some rest. I figure you'll need to recover.”

“Goodnight” she said not looking away from the boy.

Orsino stole away to her quarters to visit the baby almost every night for the first year and a half of Augusts life. Once he could say mama and papa he started to slow his visits. She didn't want the boy to know he was his father until he was old enough to keep it a secret.

 

* * *

August grew like a weed, tall and skinny like his father. He ran through the hall of the Gallows screaming and tormenting mages and Templar's alike. 

Orsino wished he was still the quiet baby with the biggest blue eyes he'd ever seen staring up at him from the bassinet placed in his mothers office. But alas children grow up.

Meredith had cleared out a storeroom in her wing of Templar hall. It was small but it was big enough for a small feather bed and the boys toys.

When he was five despite her ever growing madness she started teaching him how to use a sword, which he was excited to learn.

 

* * *

When the boy was six the rebellion happened.

Hawke and the mages raided the tower and one of the mages dragged August kicking and screaming from out underneath Meredith's bed, 

They brought him to Orsino and he grabbed the boy.

“We could ransom him” the enchanter suggested as the boy landed a sharp kick straight to his abdomen.

“No,” Orsino said sharply “He is my son. We will send him away on the next boat and get him away from here, We can send him to Val Royeux someone at the Grand Cathedral will care for him. He is her son first and foremost,”

“Your son? But he's Meredith's...”

“He is mine I can answer questions later but we need to get him out of here.” The boy cried into his chest a vice grip on his robes. ”It's okay August, I'll get you to safety then I'll follow and I'll take care of you okay. Just you and me.” He shrieked as he was handed off to an enchanter, “Don't tell anyone he's mine I don't know what they might do to him.”

He was carried off by an enchanter who got him to Ostwick and then a mother from the Chantry took him to Val Royeux.

“He is Meredith's son he must be kept safe. The mages might come after him. They might retaliate if it was known he was hers.”

 

* * *

Five years past and he became a quiet sullen child. Until one day when a young woman came for him.

“Hello.” she said sitting down next to him in the Chantry's library. “Whats your name?”

“August Stannard.” he said not looking up from his book.

“My grandfathers name was August Stannard.”

“Are you my cousin? Mother never mentioned any cousins.”

“I'm your sister. Vika Stannard”

“My mother definitely never mentioned a sister.”

“I was born in 9:26 years before you. Mother was young and she left me at a Chantry. I was raised by a seamstress.”

“Why should I believe you? You could be lying to smuggle me to some splinter faction of the mages to sacrifice me in a blood magic ritual.”

“Look at me” she said. He finally looked up from his book and stared at her with their mothers big blue eyes. He raised a brow as if in recognition.

“What am I looking at?”

“Well for one you and I look very much alike, apparently we both look just like our mother.”

“I barely remember what she looked like I was only six when she died.”

“I saw her last when I was eight, nine years ago but I remember her face.”

“Orsino was my father.” he said sighing “Mother never told me but when they raided the tower one of the other mages suggested they ransom me but Orsino objected and said I was his. I didn't know what it meant at the time and it still really confuses me I don't remember him and mother ever even being on good terms let alone liking each other enough to make a baby.”

“Two babies.” She stated “He was my father too.”

“Really?” August said clearly baffled.

“I have letters from mother. I can show you when I take you to Skyhold.”

“You work for the Inquisition?”

“Yes. Do you remember Cullen, mothers second in command? He is my boss.”

 

She dragged him across Orlais in the back of a wagon. They arrived in Skyhold and she arranged for him to learn swordplay.

She worked while he swung the sparring sword against the dummy.

“Little man your arm is too wobbly,” Cassandra said to him “You need to work on your stance.” she grabbed his shoulders and repositioned him.   
“You are rather young to be a recruit.”

“I'm eleven, I'll be twelve in four months.”

“That's very young”

“My sister works for Commander Cullen.”

“Whose your sister?”

“Vika Stannard.”

“Stannard? Are you also a Stannard?”

“Yes. I'm August Stannard.”

“I heard there was a boy but not a girl.”

“I'm the boy, my sister is older and was not raised by my mother.”

“What about your father?”

“I'm not allowed to talk about that. Vika says it could be dangerous.”

“I will respect that. She was a woman of many mysteries your mother.”

“I guess.”

“Would you like me to show you some sword stances?”

“I'd like that.”

 

* * *

“So you and the little boy have the same father?” Cullen stated to Vika in his office the day she returned with the boy.

“Yes.”

“So the father was not the dead fiancée?”

“There was no dead fiancée. Just my father.”

“Who was?”

“Orsino.”

“Orsino? No it couldn't be. They hated each other.”

“Well that hate made two babies apparently.”

“Maker I am going to need some air.”

 

* * *

“He lit the dummy on fire.” Cassandra reported to Vika.

“I understand.” she said before dropping her head into her hands “Shit I'm too young to have to deal with this.”

“Aren't you a mage?” she asked

“Yes, but now the kid is too, shit shit shit. I don't know if I have enough gold to hire someone to teach him.”

“I will speak to Fiona. She could probably teach him.”

“The former Grand Enchanter?”

“Yes,”

“Thank you that would relieve a lot of my stress. My father was a mage, his grandfather, my aunt, now my brother. Sometimes it feels like such a burden.”

“It is a gift from the Maker himself. It can be dangerous yes, but it still a gift. You are very talented. I have one of your hauberks.”

“I guess. I just didn't sign up to take care of the indiscretions of a woman who cared for me for only the first two months of my life.”

“That's an odd way to refer to your brother,”

“Oh. I'm including myself. I was more of a secret.”

“I'm sure you'll be able to make things work. You are a strong young woman.”

“Thank you Seeker.”


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She drinks whorehouse tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I don't add warning but I will for this it contains non graphic forced miscarriage. Now I've never had an abortion or a miscarriage and don't know if anyone close to me has but one of my sisters had a miscarriage at two months and I'm going off what she has told me
> 
> This is also probably the shortest chapter I've written as an adult

Meredith wished she insisted he pull out. Coitus interruptus. It would've likely prevented their current predicament.

She sat in her chair, her favourite chair by the fire and fought the urge to shred her flesh off with her fingernails.

She heard a knock at the door and before she could say anything Orsino slipped in,

“Are you ill I saw you rush off to the water closet a couple times today?” he asked.

“I'm pregnant.” she blurted out. He sat down across from her and looked rather shocked.

“Shit” was all he could muster. “I could...uh...get something to take care of it.” He said reluctantly.

“Yes. I'll bleed the parasite out.” She hissed more angry then anything. “Bring me the tea tomorrow night I'll have to take it soon I'm almost two months along.”

“Alright” he sighed. His face looked broken. Did he want to have this child? The fool.

The next night she waited hours for him to bring her the tea. It was past midnight before he finally showed up.

“I was interrogated by one of your men.” he said “Good thing they didn't know what this was.” he pulled out the small pouch and laid it on the table.

She grabbed it and smelled it. It was sharp and bitter.

“She said to make sure to drink all of it and prepare to bleed out.”

She grabbed the kettle that sat in the hearth and poured the hot water into the tea cup on the table.

“Stay with me. I may need you.” she said before drinking the piping hot tea down and several big gulps grimacing at the bitter taste. He held her hand

“It will take about a quarter of an hour to work.” he stated tightening the grip on her hand.

“I'm going to get in the tub. Come warm it up for me.”

She lowered herself into the warm water and lay her head back closing her eyes as sharp cramps began to stab into her back.

“Are you okay?” he whispered 

“It's just starting to hurt.” she reached out and grabbed his hand tight.

The bleeding began and she squirmed as the cramps got more intense.

“Shit.” she swore digging her nails into his hand.

He sat vigil by the edge of the tub for half an hour. She stood up suddenly.

“Be careful” he said standing up quickly to hold her waist.

“I want to lay down on my bed.” He wrapped her up in several towels and helped her into the bed. He lay down next to her and she lay her head on his shoulder.

“I am... bothered...upset...just...I don't know how to describe it.” he said breaking the silence.

“Why? Because I aborted your baby?” she said harshly.

“I guess... Yes.”

“Well I couldn't give birth to the child and give it to you to raise. That's ridiculous.”

“If you had raised the child I could've helped you.”

“Raising the child being the key word here. That wasn't going to happen. Think of the scandal that it would've caused. And helping. What would that entail? Making a scarce visit to do what? Change a soiled nappy?”

“I feel like I would be a good father despite the issue...”

“Of being a mage?”

“Yes”

“Well it is too late now. And this is never going to happen again.”

“There is always that small chance,”

“That is why I'm not laying with you or anybody anymore. We are over.”

He was silent until he fell asleep. She dozed off and woke up the next morning and he was gone. He never spoke to her for months after.

He was avoiding her in every way possible so she didn't bother to look his way. When she was required to speak with him for work purposes he snapped at her even though it was a simple three word answer about his apprentice.

Years later he had become First Enchanter and was forced to speak to her regularly for business. They fought more then your standard First Enchanter and Knight Commander. He would become furious when someone made a simple jest about them fighting like lovebirds.

“I loved you once. Then you fucking ruined everything in just one night. You took away my future, my only chance at having a child. You. I missed you. You and all your anger and barbs.” he shouted at her in her office one night after forbidding from leaving the tower to speak to the Champion.

“I don't care. You mean nothing to me.” she snarled. 

He left.

The next time they spoke was the last time they would ever exchange words before they both met their demise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They run off together

They lay in the silence post lovemaking. He curled into her back, hand resting on her bare hip. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself contemplating what to say. 

“Marry me.” Orsino finally said breaking the sweet silence. Meredith was silent, he was terrified as to what she would say.

She was taken aback. He legitimately asked her to marry him. What was he thinking? She was silent more considering it. He must know she thought. She had to consider another person in this decision.

They could run off together, spend the rest of their lives together away from the Gallows, away from Kirkwall.

“Yes.” she said quietly. He exhaled heavily as if he was holding his breath the whole time.

“It's not just because I love you. We have someone else to consider in our actions.” he said laying a hand on her stomach.

“How did you know?”

“I had a suspicion. That and Risa overheard the healer saying something rather suspicious to you in Ansburg. Also you are starting to show.”

He rolled on his back and she lay on his smooth chest.

“So what will we do? There is the whole phylactery issue not to mention sneaking out of the tower.” He said.

“I will take care of it don't worry your pretty head about it.”

 

* * *  
Meredith went down into the basement of the tower under the guise of sorting some paperwork the following day. She looked through the drawers of phylacteries searching for his name on the tag. She was digging through the fifth drawer when she heard a cough behind her.

“Knight Commander, I'm sorry for sneaking up on you I was just... what are you doing?” said the Knight.

“I was just reorganizing the phylactery drawers. We are running out of space so I am removing ones of the older enchanters who have died.”

“Oh okay. Sorry for frightening you. I will take my leave.”

She waited until the footsteps faded away before returning to rummaging in the drawers. She finally found it in the back of the sixth drawer and stuffed it in her robes. She climbed the steps and nodded to the Knight guarding the basement door.

“Thank you Loren” she said walking back to the tower.

 

* * *

“I got it.” she whispered to him when she slipped into his small cubicle.

“Good. Are you going to destroy or not? Someone that doesn't have my best intentions could get their hands on it.”

“I will destroy it in my quarters. Burn the remains so no one will find it.”

“When will we leave?”

“Pack your things we'll leave tomorrow night.”

* * *

She snapped the phylactery in half letting the blood inside spill out into the flames, hissing. She tossed the rest of it into the fire turning the ash over the scorched glass.

She began packing all her clothes and the few possessions she wanted to bring with her. She cleaned her sword before sheathing it, wrapping it up, and tying it to her bag.

She sat in her favourite chair by the fire. She was going to miss the stupid chair but she will find another stupid chair to sit in and stare at the fire. She lay a hand across the small swell of her belly and felt it flutter.

“You are the reason I'm doing this you know.” she whispered to her unborn child.

* * *

She got up the next day and went down to her office, saw through drills and did paperwork as she usually would. As night fell she went to the two Knights who were guarding the exit to the tower.

“You deserve the night off. I have arranged some replacements to come down shortly but I will stay here until they arrive.”

“Thank you!” the young men said excitedly before running off.

She ran up to her quarters and Orsino was waiting at the table in her sitting room. A small bag of what non stereotypical mage attire he had sitting on the table. It was a rather pathetic collection.

“Are you ready?” he said visible distressed.

“We need to go right away.” she grabbed her and sword as he hefted her footlocker up and grunted.

“Is it too heavy?”

“No, I can handle it” he voice strained.

“Give me your bag I'll take it.”

“Not necessary.”

“You're turning red.”

He exited the room and waited at the top of the stairs. She left the letter she had written to Risa on her table. It didn't mention who she was leaving with but she knew Risa was smart and could put two and two together.

“Lets go” she said throwing a bag over her shoulder.

They left towards the docks and took a late night ship to Ferelden.

* * *

Risa went to Meredith's quarters the next morning after she didn't show up for drills.

“Are you here?” she said to no one.

There was an envelope with her name written on it on the table.

Risa,

I knew you were an intuitive one. Your guess was right. I am carrying a child. I have left to marry my child's father and start a new life away from the Order.

I leave you as the new Knight Commander instead of that idiot Garin. Replace him if you wish I always wanted to but diplomacy got in the way.

Regards

Meredith Stannard

 

“Shit, I knew I was right but I never thought she would just up and leave.”

“Corporal” a voice said from the door “Is she in here?”

“She is gone, for good. She left me in charge” she gestured to the paper.

“I'm not sure if this is the best time to mention this but there is also a mage missing.”

“Who?” 

“Senior Enchanter Orsino.”

“Shit” It couldn't just be a coincidence, they were friendly, but she never thought it was that friendly. “Get his phylactery we will hunt him down.”

She took the letter downstairs to the First Enchanter.

“Maceron, I need to talk to you immediately.” The old man looked up from his desk. “Meredith ran off with Orsino.”

“Unheard of.” he dismissed waving his hand.

“They both mysteriously disappear the same night. It can't be coincidence.”

“Until it is proven otherwise we will not spread such slander about the Knight Commander. We will find Orsino and bring him back it's simple as that.” Maceron said finality in his voice.

“Corporal...I mean Commander.” a Knight interrupted from the door.

“Yes” she snapped.

“We couldn't find his phylactery. We looked in all the drawers, where the seniors were kept and the juniors and the apprentices and nothing.”

“Dammit” Risa swore.

“I will send letters to the other towers for everyone to keep an eye out for him.” Maceron said.

“I doubt a middle aged elf who is probably dressed like a pauper will garner any unwanted attention. Fuck he is gone for good,”

 

* * *

They arrived in Amaranthine and found a cheap inn to stay in until they could arrange to purchase a home for themselves.

“We will marry as soon as possible.” she said that night as they lay in the small straw bed that barely allowed enough room for them to sleep side by side. “I am not having this child out of wedlock and I know you're less then religious but I want him to be dedicated to the Chantry”

“Him? Wishful thinking?” he said with a smile.

“That old woman on the ship said I was carrying low which means I am having a boy.”

“Sure. You're barely showing let alone carrying low.” he said breaking her bubble, “We will marry tomorrow. I am, as you mentioned, not religious but I will respect your wishes for our child.”

* * *

The next day they woke at dawn and had a greasy breakfast at the small pub on the main floor of the inn. Afterwards they headed out and asked a passerby where the local Chantry was.

“Can you marry us?” Meredith asked the middle aged Mother who looked rather surprised by her request.

“I don't get many...mixed couple in here especially with such a large age gap.”

“Should we find someone in an alienage to marry us or will you do it.” Meredith said crankily.

“No, I assure you all followers are welcome here. I will perform your service just give me a moment.”

They waited anxiously as she gathered the certificate and prayer book.

“We are actually doing this.” he whispered.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

“Never.” he smiled. “You and our child are priority.”

They held hands as the service was performed. Meredith's calloused ones intertwined with Orsino's long smooth ones. They both signed the certificate.

“No surname?” the Mother said as Orsino signed his name.

“Neither of my parents had one.” he stated.

“So the child will have its mothers name I assume?”

“You assumed correctly” Meredith said rather agitated.

 

They left the Chantry not as happy as most newlyweds would be.

“Did she have to be so nosey.” he said frustrated. “Mentioning the age gap wasn't necessary.”

“Do I look that pregnant?”

“No, but why else would such an unusual pair suddenly want to be married.”

“I honestly wouldn't have married you if we hadn't conceived this child.”

“That makes me feel loved.” he feigned insult.

They got back to the inn.

“I can afford a house with what I have saved but it'll clean out my purse. You don't have enough to last to the end of my pregnancy let along while I'm nursing. You're going to have to find a job. Maybe there is an apothecary you can work at.”

“I will enquire in town”

“Let's go find a house.” she said eagerly

* * *

They found a nice sized cabin maybe a mile outside the city. Not too far for a walk to work in the city itself. It had three bedrooms, a sitting room, a larder, and a nice sized kitchen but it lacked running water.

“We were spoiled at the tower.” he said peering into the small restroom.

“We'll have to fill up the tub with well water.”

“So, three bedrooms? For two children.” he said slyly

“We will see how the first one goes before we even think about a second.”

* * *

Winter came and they often spend all evening in their feather bed cuddling to keep warm. The bump intruding at every opportunity.

They hired a local midwife in Haring and she came for a consultation.

“Send your husband when your water break. I live just down the road.”

On First Day they sat on the sofa in front of the main hearth. Orsino rubbed Meredith's back idly as they sat in silence.

“She said it will be soon. A week or two.” she said breaking the silence. He grinned.

“I'm really excited.”

“I'm scared to death.”

“What has you so frightened?”

“What if I am a terrible mother. I never wanted to be a mother it was kind of forced on me five months ago when the forth bleed didn't come. Even then I wanted to get out of it.”

“Well” he said wrapping his arms around her belly. “For the first year you basically just have to keep them alive then the rest just comes naturally.”

“Since when do you know so much about being a parent?”

“Everyone knows that.” she scoffed and grabbed his hand holding it over the bump where the baby was kicking.

* * *

It was the middle of the night and they were in bed when she was awoken by a twinge and a rush of fluid. She shook him until he startled awake.

“Is something wrong?” he said sleepily.

“I think my water broke.”

“You sure?”

“I highly doubt I just pissed myself.”

“I'll go get the midwife.” he threw on his cloak and went out in the freezing cloak.

She shivered in bed for what felt like an eternity before he returned with the midwife.

She laboured for several more hours before it was time to push. He sat diligently by her side and held her hand. She squeezed so hard he thought she would break his fingers and then she let go only to squeeze even harder when another contraction hit. It repeated until a wail broke the silence of the small room.

The midwife lifted the baby up and laid them on her chest. Meredith reached up and moved their leg.

“A girl” he said with a husky voice.

“Oh.” was all she could muster.

“You wanted a boy didn't you?” he said grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah” she said still heaving. She smiled and kissed him lightly.

“I'll clean her up.” he said enthusiastically.

“You'll have to cut the cord first.” the midwife said. He took the knife and sawed through the sinewy umbilical cord.

“There we go. Go wash her while we finish up here.” the midwife said.

He heard a heavy grunt and a deep exhale behind him as he washed the baby in the warm water in the sitting room.

“There we go, all done.” the midwife said finally. “Bring her over father, let mother hold her.”

He delicately lowered the baby into her arms.

“Maker.” she said “she's so beautiful.”

“She looks just like you.” he said wavering voice.

“She is far to good looking to look like me.” she said brushing the babies cheek.

“Thank you” he said shaking the midwifes hand.

“Anytime, let me know when you're expecting number two. I'd have it soon judging by your age.

“Age is of no concern.” Meredith said from the bed.

They named the baby Vika after her great-grandmother. She would coo and kick her legs in her bassinet whenever she heard her father sing to her.

* * *

“Why did you pull out?” Meredith enquired several months later as they lay together for the first time since the birth.

“You can't drink the tea when your nursing. And I want our next child to not be a sudden surprise.” he said reaching for a handkerchief on their bedside table.

 

* * *

Vika grew up quickly, running around the small house. Her parents took turns staying home with her. Her father worked at an apothecary every other day and her mother was a part time city guard in Amaranthine.

One night, when Vika was four years old, she was banished to her bedroom on the second floor on the cabin. She paced the room several times before sitting down and reading a book. He father taught her to read before she was toilet trained. She started pacing again and went to the door and opened it. She heard her mother swearing downstairs. She closed the door again. She heard a baby cry and probably ten minutes later when the baby stopped crying her father came up to her room.

“Come downstairs sweet pea.” he said grabbing her hand and leading her down the stairs and to the back of the cabin. They got to her parents room and she bolted toward the bed.

“Momma!” she shouted jumping up on the bed.

“Careful” Meredith scolded.

“Do I have a brother or a sister?”

“It's a girl” the girl vibrated with excitement. She insisted from the time her parents told her she was to be a big sister that she was having a little sister despite their protests that it may be a boy. Her mother sighed as if disappointed.

“Did you want a boy?” the girl asked.

“I've always wanted a boy.”

“You can have another baby maybe that one will be a boy.” she said excitedly

“No more babies.” Meredith said smiling at Orsino. “I am happy with two girls.”

“What's her name?”

“Amelia.”

“Amelia?”

“It was your aunts name.”

“What's an aunt?”

“My older sister.” her mother said.

“You have a sister too?”

“Yes it was just me and Amelia.”

“Does Papa have a sister too?”

“I have three” he said from the side of the bed. It blew the girls mind.

“I have four aunts, wow” her eyes were wide.

“You have three, Amelia died a long time ago.”

“Died?”

“She is at the side of the Maker.” she said quietly to the girl.

Vika rubbed at her new baby sisters downy dark hair.

“So soft!” she squealed 

“Shh you'll scare her if your too loud.”

“She's is going to have to get used to it.” she said with a diva-like attitude. “Can I hold her?”

“Come sit still next to me I'll put her in your arms.”

She giggled as the baby yawned and brushed her tiny fingers across Vika's cheek.

“She's little”

“You were little like that too.” Orsino said sitting next to her on the bed.

“When I came out of Momma?”

“Yes, when you were in Momma you were even tinier.”

“How tiny?”

“As tiny as a bean.”

“That's silly I'm not as tiny as bean.” she giggled and kissed the babies forehead a bit too rough. Amelia's lips curled and she started to cry. Vika recoiled and looked to be rid of the crying baby immediately. “Momma, Papa, take her” she said scared.

Orsino picked her up and snuggled her to his shoulder.

“You'll get used to her eventually.” he with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more short planned for now I really like these characters and the world i've headcanoned and basically playing with them as if they are my dollies. If you have any suggestions just let me know in the comments I'll try to explore it


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vika's youth from the eyes of Ilya

Ilya left Rivain when she was only eighteen years old. She was fresh faced and in love. She had just married a young man from the Anderfels who had swept her off her feet. She was looking forward to the future she would have with her new husband and the new child she was carrying.

They lived in a cottage in Hossberg. Gregor worked at his father and grandfathers smithy. Ilya, a well trained seamstress, opened a small stall not far from the smith, selling high end dresses and suits to the nobles and well to do of the city. She worked there while their son, Russell, was born. He slept in a crate lined with pillows and linens in the back of her stall.

Once their son was walking and talking, the young couple began to travel to ply their wares across Thedas. They travelled all over the continent making piles of gold. Despite their best efforts, and she insisted it was their best, they didn't have another child for nearly sixteen years. They hoped for a daughter that could be taught her mothers trade as Gregor had taught Russell his, but their long awaited child was another boy, Aaron.

Gregor was forty and Ilya was thirty-five. They could try for another but the window was closing. Unfortunately three years later, there was no baby and Gregor dropped dead after complaining about chest pains at his stall. The healer who had be summoned to no avail said it was likely a massive heart attack. Ilya thanked whatever gods were out there that he did not suffer.

Three months after Gregor's death, they were travelling along the southern coast of the Free Marches and they stopped in the city of Ostwick. Ilya though not Andrastian decided to visit the Chantry's orphanage just to have a look. She meandered through the crowded orphanage children playing along the rows of small beds. She walked towards the back of the room where there was an old obviously worn crib. She looked down at the infant inside. It was a tiny little thing dressed in a plan white outfit. She glanced at the babies face and she met the infants striking blue eyes. “Sister what is this ones name?”

“That little one there is Vika. She has been here two months and I am honestly surprised no one has adopted her yet.” the sister said

“I'll take her” Ilya said 

“Are you sure? She will require hiring a wet nurse and the typical ups and downs of having an infant.” the sister questioned

“I have two children already I know how to handle a baby.” Ilya said slipping her arms underneath the babies head and lower baby and lifted her into her arms.”She's two months old?” 

“Four, she was born in Wintermarch. She is just very petite. I figure her father was an elf. Half breeds are often smaller.” the sister said.

“What about her mother?” Ilya asked rocking the baby who was cooing.

“She was someone of standing I presume. She, uh, left a fair amount of gold with her to be given to her adopter. I haven't mentioned it to anyone else. I don't want someone taking her just for some gold.” the sister explained.

“I don't need the money. I am fairly wealthy,”

“Her mother insisted.” the sister said.

She looked at her face. She was very cute. Big blue eyes, chubby cheeks, button nose, and a few white curls coated her head. 'I wonder who you belong to' she thought 'It's me now'

“Give me the papers I'll fill them out.” Ilya said handing the baby to Russell who had joined her.

He held the girl tightly as his mother filled out the papers.

“We have to send her birth certificate to Kirkwall.” the sister stated as she handed Ilya the bag of gold.

“God's that's a heavy purse.” Ilya laughed “This should cover a wet nurse and pretty much every expense the little girl will cost me.”

 

“Do you plan on giving her a new name?” the sister enquired.

“I should keep it. It probably holds a deep meaning to the woman who gave it to her.” Ilya said.

“As you wish.”

 

* * * 

Aaron was very excited to meet his new baby sister. He kissed her head and giggled maniacally showing off his little teeth. “Baby sister.” he got out between giggles.

Russ held her tight. She was just as much his and she was her mothers.

She was a colicky baby, screaming for hours as Ilya paced the floor of wherever they had put down temporary roots.

 

When she was a year old the whole family came down with the croup. Ilya and Russ were fine with just minor coughs but Aaron and Vika got very sick. The fevers weren't bad but they coughed until they turned blue in the face. Ilya applied minty salves to their chests and Aaron's cough broke during the night, but Vika's worsened. She brought her to a healer who feared she may have diphtheria but Ilya did not give up and sat up all night patting the girls back and applying more salve. The fever broke the next morning and the coughing stopped and Vika was back to her big toothy smiles and giggles.

She was a very smart girl learning to read when she was only three and Ilya started teaching her how to make jewelry and how to knit and sew. She had a natural gift for jewelry and was a decent sewer for her age but it wasn't of the quality that would sell at her mothers stand, but her necklaces sold like hot cakes.

 

They left Orlais for Kirkwall in the winter of 9:30 and they set up their stalls in High Towns bazaar.

 

* * * 

Vika would sit on a stool in the front of the stall and make jewelry while Ilya sewed in the small tent behind the stall. Russell bought an anvil and had began making new weapons. Seven year old Aaron would oil the weapons and take the golf from the customers. It was slow starting but business picked up in the spring.

When fall came a woman came by in full plate armour with a large great sword on her back. She called a very confused and frightened Vika, Amelia and seemed shocked to see her. “Mama” Vika screamed.

Ilya poked her head out of the stall. She eyed the woman, her heart pounded the resemblance was striking. Was this the woman? “Did you adopt her 9:26 in Ostwick?” the woman whispered and Ilya's heart raced.

“Yes is something wrong?” Ilya said reluctantly.

“Can you meet me in the Gallows tonight?” she whispered.

“No, I need to be home with my children.” she said.

“Then I will come to you.” she said finally.

The woman clearly wasn't getting her hints. “We are at Longhill apartments. Come after ten.” she sighed.

The woman left and Ilya's heart continued to race. A Templar? Of all people. She thought about it the rest of the day.

 

* * * 

She tucked Aaron and Vika into bed and worked quietly in her office until she heard Russell's voice speaking to someone downstairs. She then heard a knock at the door. “Come in” she called.

“Good evening Knight Commander. I never properly introduced myself. I am Ilya Faurey.” Ilya said extended a hand.

“Meredith Stannard.” she said curtly taking her hand.

She reluctantly sat down. “I assume she's yours.” Ilya said breaking the awkward silence.

“What?”

“Vika, you left her at the Chantry in Ostwick in 9:26?” Ilya asked.

“Yes.” Meredith said looking away.

“I knew her mother must've been of high standing but Knight Commander. I never expected that. She is your mirror image though. It's plain to see she is your blood.” 

Meredith looked uncomfortable. “She's a perfect little girl, smart, talented. Just the sweetest little thing but she is very shy I am surprised she asked you to buy a necklace.” Ilya said

“You speak of her with great enthusiasm.” Meredith said.

“She is one of my children. I have two others, boys, Russ and Aaron. They are smiths. I always wanted a girl so when my husband died I wandered into an orphanage and there was this sweet little girl staring at me from a little wooden crib and I knew she was destined to be mine.”

Meredith shifted uncomfortably. “Are you married?” Ilya asked.

“No.”

“Didn't think so, married people don't usually hide their children away. What of Vika's father?” Ilya enquired.

“That is a complicated situation, he wanted to do right by me but I declined. My position was more important to me then the delusional prospects of a family. My duty always takes precedence.” Meredith said.

“Duty” llya repeated.

“Speaking of which, I feel I should give you this.”

She reached in her pocket and pulled out a rather hefty purse Ilya opened it. It was packed to the top with gold. “Why?” she asked

“You're raising my child. You know my secret.”

“I'm not blackmailing you. My daughters safety would be in question if it ever got that she was yours. I'm sure you have your of enemies.”

“Keep it. Lock it away for a rainy day. I don't care. I'm not taking it back.”

There was a long silence and Meredith looked down at the centre piece on the table. “Can I see her?” she asked, her eyes unreadable.

“Of course” Ilya said.

Ilya guided her into the room the children shared and she watched her work her way into the girls tiny bed and hold her in her arms. “I'll leave you alone.” Ilya said quietly

She left her alone with her for nearly two hours before shaking her awake and telling her she should go home. “How long will you be here?” she asked sleepily.

“I can't tell you for certain. Our businesses could flourish or fail.”

“We must keep in touch.”

“You can visit anytime but I won't tell her who you are until she's a lot older.” Ilya said

She started out the door before pausing and saying, “Her father will want to see her.”

“What does he look like?” she asked.

“He is... older, grey, wears black robes.” she said hesitating.

“What's his name?”

“Orsino.”

 

* * * 

It was a few months before the man showed up. She heard Vika talking to man outside the stall and then heard her scream “MAMA”

 

She asked how much however many necklaces were and she answered before looking at who was wanting to buy out their stock. He was an elf and was clearly a mage but despite that he met the description. This must be the father. He was older then she thought. Older then her, probably around fifty.

He came by often bringing presents and items for making necklaces. Meredith made scarce visits under the cover of darkness to hold the girl while she slept.

Over the following three years Orsino continued visiting, buying her an ornate staff and other baubles. Meredith's visits became even less frequent. That was until that night. “You need to leave, these heathens are dangerous.” she insisted hands flailing.

“I will speak to Russell” Ilya said trying to appease her.

“Your his mother, make him.”

“He is nearly thirty, he makes his own decisions. Aaron however will be coming with me.” 

“I will bring gold to speed up the process” Meredith said.

Ilya followed Meredith down the stairs and after she left Vika said, “Why was the scary Templar here?”

“She was telling me it's no longer safe in the city. We are going to leave. Does that sound okay with you Russ?”

Russ looked up “Knight Commander Meredith is my only noteworthy client and if she wants us gone I'll pack up and leave with you guys.” he said.

 

The following night Meredith came back with every bit of money she had in a big purse. “This is more then enough” Ilya said recoiling at the weight of the bag.

“It is the least I can do to get your family to safety.” She said.

“Russell agreed to leave as well.”

“I also have this” Meredith said.

She produced a sealed letter, “You can't open it the seal must remain unbroken. In case I was to die before she came of age” she exhaled “This will legitimize her. The Chantry will take care of her financially.” she said reluctantly.

“But her father, isn't he a mage?” she whispered to avoid prying ears.

“I didn't mention him just an unnamed partner. Bring thing to the Grand Cathedral if anything were to happen to me.” 

“What if nothing happens to you? What about then?” Ilya said.

“I spoke to the Grand Cleric when she was a baby. She sent her records to Val Royeux. She suggested when I retire to make her my own, but I have my doubts I'll live that long.” Meredith said.

“Nonsense” Ilya dismissed.

“I will always put my duty before my own life.”

“It's that mindset that is why I am her mother. Not you.” Ilya said with an edge of poison.

“Excuse me” she was taken aback

“You have no plans on seeing her grow up. I plan on being there for all her life events.”

“I gave her life. She is my flesh and blood.” she spat,

“That's no something special. I have two, I had one before I even turned twenty. The difference in that I have cared for her since she was a wee little baby.” Ilya said with a raised voice.

“I worry about her.” she said in a surprisingly small voice.

“That means nothing when you spend nights awake terrified that she may die of diphtheria. I taught her everything she knows and I love her as much as my blood sons.” Ilya said with finality.

Meredith looked taken about. She grabbed at her face before slamming her fists on the table. “You don't know my motives, you probably don't know that I am the real power in Kirkwall. Dumar is nothing but a figurehead.” she said in a rage.

Ilya let her boundaries down “Yet you fucked the First Enchanter. It wasn't just a one night fuck was it? It was a love affair for a dirty pulp romance novel.”

Meredith sputtered “We were together for nearly ten years.”

“Well that explains a lot. Don't worry Knight Commander your affairs are safe with me. Vika's safety is my number one priority.”

Her face was unreadable was she going to cry or strangle Ilya with her bare hands, but she exhaled and her face turned to one of sadness. “Three years ago the beginning of 9:31 I conceived another child and I lost the baby after two months. I felt relief. Orsino was devastated. It saved me from drinking whorehouse tea.” her tone suggested otherwise “You know little about me, enough for my daughter to know what a monster I am.”

“Write her letters she can learn about you through them.”

Her face changed. “Will you give them to her when she comes of age.”

“Of course” Ilya said with a wry grin.

“You will drive me to madness, Are you sure your not Orsino's sister.” she said sighing loudly.

“Goodnight Knight Commander,”

 

* * * 

 

Ilya didn't bother sleeping the night before their departure from Kirkwall. The ship left before dawn so she spent the night packing last minutes things. The children slept on bare beds and Russ slept on the couch, that he was too tall for. She shook them awake and headed out towards the docks. Russell put their trunks on a trolly while Aaron insisted on carrying his himself. While waiting at the docks the children started roughhousing. She noticed Meredith come over from the Gallows on a boat. She had a slight smile on her face as she watched Vika play. “Good morning” she said,

“It's the middle of the night” Ilya whined.

Russ motioned towards the ship and said he was going to take the trunks to the cargo hold. “Take Aaron with you.”

Vika went to follow but she held her back. Aaron jeered at her “You're a baby” he teased.

“I am a high born lady and you're my elven servant, carry my bags knife ear.” Vika said dramatically

“Don't say thing like that.” Ilya scolded her.

Meredith looked uncomfortable. Her father was an elf but she wouldn't know it for a long time.

Meredith lowered herself to the girls level and presented her with two gifts, an enchanted cloak with Templar insignia and a spyglass from her father. She thanked her with big eyes, her mothers eyes. 

She was taken aback nearly as much as the girl herself when Meredith grabbed her and lifted her off the ground into a tight embrace. She lay her down after a couple uncomfortable moments. “Run along little lady” Ilya said and with that she ran off to join her brothers.

Meredith shoved a bag of letter at her. “Give these to her if I die before she comes of age.” she said

“Of course.”

Meredith held out her hand but Ilya embraced her not as tight as she held the girl but enough to make her uncomfortable. “She is safe with me. Russ knows how to use those swords he makes.” she said.

“A noble elder brother.” she said quietly.

“You'll see her again I promise.” Ilya said.

“I'm scared to see her grown, she looks too much like me now.” she said quietly.

“You'll live to see her grown, I promise.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep.” Meredith voice was husky and she turned and left the docks.

Ilya joined her children on the ship. She lay on the small bed in their tiny shared cabin and Vika snuggled into her. “Mama why did the Templar hug me?” Vika asked sweetly.

Shit. Ilya started brainstorming. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

“She knows your mother. The one who gave birth to you.”

“Were they friends?” Vika said yawning.

“Very best friends” she said 

She brushed her hair off her face as she dozed off.

 

* * * 

 

They decided to forgo renting a place and bought a stone house near the bazaar in Val Royeux. Vika had her own bedroom for the first time in her life and used her earnings from the shop to cover the walls in ornate dolls. They settled in quickly and both their businesses flourished.

 

* * * 

Two years later Vika was sleeping in her bed having a rather nasty nightmare. A scary green monster was chasing her through the face. She woke suddenly as the monster caught up to her and startled herself with the ice that had formed on her hands. She got out of bed and ran to her mothers room. She shook her awake with her frosty hands and Ilya woke up frazzled. “Gods, what's wrong with your hands.” Ilya mumbled half asleep.

“I woke up and there was ice on my hands. I think... I think it's magic.” Vika sputtered, terrified.

Ilya grabbed her tight “Don't make me go to a circle I heard rumours from the other girls in Kirkwall as to what goes on in circles and I don't think I could survive. I don't want them to chop off my head. I don't want to be made tranquil.” she wailed.

“Shhh, I would never send you to a circle. Aunt Gia is a mage and she was fine without a circle. I'll just have to find you a teacher. Gia should know someone, she has connections.” 

Vika continued to sob. “You mustn't tell anyone, not even Aaron. I will tell Russ he can keep it quiet.”

She continued sobbing.

 

* * * 

 

Vika and Ilya were sitting in the sitting room relaxing after dinner one night in the summer of 9:37, when Russ came in. “I heard some news in town” he announced,

“What's happened?” Ilya asked growing concerned.

“There was a rebellion in Kirkwall. A mage blew up the Chantry killing the Grand Cleric and everyone else inside. Then the Knight Commander declared the Rite of Annulment.”

Ilya gasped audibly and managed to get out “Are they all dead?”

“Not” Russ said “A bunch of mages escaped thanks to the Champion. Uh. The First Enchanter is dead as is the Knight Commander.”

 

Ilya stood up and walked to the couch where Vika sat. She sat next to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “What's wrong?” Vika said quietly.

“You will understand when you are older.” llya said.

 

* * * 

 

The Circles rose up and rebellions started all across Thedas. When the remaining mages voted to separate Ilya dismissed Vika's tutor. He told her he was confident she could keep herself safe from possession. She trusted he was correct.

After the conclave ended in disaster Ilya started communications with the fledgling Inquisitions Ambassador. She had Vika hide in their home and enchant their wares that they forwarded to the Inquisition.

After the final battle was won the Inquisition continued. Vika begged to join them she was now sixteen a woman in her own right she claimed. So Ilya sent to the Skyhold.

Ilya corresponded with Vika while she was at Skyhold. Vika mentioned that the Commander she was working for found her familiar and she begged Ilya that she finally tell her who her mother was. Vika had a sneaky suspicion she later confided in her. 

Ilya responded with a yes and Vika headed back to Val Royeux. She sat down at the table in the kitchen “Mother I am old enough to know now.” she pleaded.

“I know.” she said laying a mug of tea in front of her. “You met your mother on a few occasions when we lived in Kirkwall.”

Vika raised a brow having an idea. “It was Knight Commander Meredith.”

She looked dumbstruck. “I... That's what Cullen said but it's still a shock to here it was true.

“I have letters from her and this.” Ilya said sliding an envelope onto the table in front of her.

“For the eyes of the Archivist of the Grand Cathedral? What is this?” Vika read.

She went to open it but Ilya stopped her. “The seal must remain unbroken. It is a legitimization order.” Ilya said.

“I can't believe this.”she said “Who is my father?”

“I will tell you some other time.” Ilya said quietly 

“So it's known? It's like some whore isn't it?” Ilya shook her head.

“I'm going back to Skyhold I told them I'd only be gone for a few days. I will take a proper leave next month and deal with this cathedral nonsense.”

She wrote no letter but came back the next month and headed to the Grand Cathedral. Ilya knew she had to tell her but it would be a great burden. She had spent years learning all these horrible things about her parents. What would she think of herself?

Vika came in and threw herself back onto a sofa in the sitting room. “Well I'm not legally a bastard anymore. I am Vika Stannard, whatever that means. They said she left no money and they felt a pension was inappropriate so I get nothing but the name.”

Ilya sat down next to her and leaned on her shoulder. Vika towered over her, she was nearly six feet tall making Ilya feel even tinier then her five foot two. “So who was the guilty party? Who fucked the mighty Knight Commander Meredith?” Vika said a hint of anger in her voice.

Ilya sighed “I'd say watch your mouth but you go that dirty tongue from me.” she said “Your father...” she grabbed Vika's hand intertwining her long thin fingers in hers “Your father was First Enchanter Orsino.”

Vika said nothing at first she pulled her hand back “Well that explains the magic.” she finally said.

“I'm half elf. So I'm a bastard and a halfbreed. No wonder she wanted to be rid of me. Was I the product of a couple bottles of wine on a cold spring night?” Vika said 

“No” Ilya said laying her hand on her shoulder “They were in love once upon a time. Not when we knew them. Not in the end, clearly but when you were born they did love in each other. As much comfort as that would bring you.”

“Did other people know about this? About me?” She asked

“The Grand Cleric, the one that died in the rebellion your mother confided in her when you were only a baby, several years before we moved to Kirkwall. Russ knew she was your mother, he figured it out the resemblance is striking. I swore him to secrecy, he didn't know who your father was though.” Ilya explained.

“I'm going back to Skyhold” she said getting up.

Ilya sat at the kitchen with her head in her hands. She felt as if she wasn't her daughter anymore. That woman, that stubborn woman took her from her even after her death. She laughed. 

She never wanted the child but she was still a part of her. She looked like her, she was a hot head, she even had her name now. Ilya wondered as to what the girls future would hold.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To avoid a scandal she marries a stranger

She knew something extreme had to be done. So here she was.

She sat at a table in the Hanged Man alone waiting for someone to take her bait. She nursed a disgusting ale as she began eyeing up a man sitting at a table across the room. He made eye contact with her. His dark brown eyes lighting up as she forced a grin. “Hello, beautiful.” he said sliding up across from her.

“I'm Gordon.”

“Meredith.” she said holding out a hand and he shook it. 

A firm grip and his hand was calloused. “So what is a pretty thing like you doing in a dump like this.” he enquired slightly slurring his words.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.” she said flatly taking another swig of the foul beer.

He raised a brow and then laughed heartily “Let me buy you a drink.” he insisted.

“Not another beer please Maker it is absolutely vile.”

“No, I'll get you a rum.”

He waved the bartender and he slid two glasses across the bar and he brought them over to the table. “Cheers” he said tossing back the shot

They chatted for a while. He had a loud contagious laugh and she couldn't help but smile. “So what do you do Gordon?” she asked.

“I am a city guardsman fairly new to the ranks just joined last year. What about you? You work at a shop or something?” he asked

“I'm a Templar.” she said

“A Templar eh, you're the first lady Templar I've ever met.” he said

“I'm not alone in the order I assure you.”

He laughed heartily again before downing a few more beers, Meredith sat nursing her rum eyeing the mans face. A strong chin, dark hair, tall. It could work. “Maker you are quiet the looker” he said laughing.

“Want to get a room?” she suggested feeling a pang of guilt in her guilt.

“Yes” he slurred.

They went upstairs and he pinned to the bed. He kissed her roughly on her lips and down her neck to her collar bone. His stubble rough on her skin. She didn't reciprocate any of his actions just allowed him to what he pleased.

He slid a hand up her shirt and fondled her breasts reaching up under her band and played with her nipples. She looked at him and he smiled. “Lets get these clothes off. They are getting in the way.” he whispered in her ear the stank of beer on his breath.

He pulled off his shirt and slipped off his pants and breeches and lay on the bed waiting for her. He was the complete opposite of Orsino. Broad shouldered, muscular, hairy. He also proved to be a less that satisfactory lover. 

He pinned her below him and didn't bother to ask her what she liked he just slipped in and thrust fast and hard. He lacked the intimacy and romance she had become accustom to. He started shaking and whispered “I'm going to...”

She wrapped her legs around his torso making sure he would have no outs. He grunted loudly and finished inside her collapsing on her breast kissing in between them before rolling off her and quickly passing out in a drunken stupor, snoring very loudly.

She pulled her small clothes back on and lay down next to the sleeping stranger. Guilt overwhelmed her. He was hers and she his, not this common human man laying next to her. She eventually fell asleep on the lumpy bed.

Gordon woke first the next morning and shook her awake “Hey beautiful we should get back to our posts.” he said quietly.

She sat up. He had dressed and had lay her clothes on the bed next to her. “Can I see you again?” he asked big dark eyes full of curiosity. 

“Sure I know where to find you.” she sauntered out of the room, glancing back at him with a forced smile before leaving.

When she got back to her quarters she immediately ran into her water closet vomiting in the toilet. Thank the Maker she didn't vomit at the tavern it could've given her away. She climbed into the tub and lay back in the warm water. She scrubbed her skin wanting to get his scent off her.

Why did she do this? There were other options she scolded herself. This was the least scandal worthy she reminded herself.

 

* * * 

 

A month later she made a visit to Viscount Keep and enquired after Gordon at the office of the Guard Captain. “I need to see one of your men. Gordon” she said entering the office.

“Knight Commander.” the Captain said surprised “What has Gordon done to get you involved?”

“It is a personal matter.”

“Oh. I see” he said “He is in the barracks. I'll show you there”

They walked into the barracks and spotted him sitting on his bunk whittling a stick with a knife that was not sharp enough for such a task. “Gordon” she said and he sat up quickly.

“Meredith, hello how have you been doing?” he sputtered shocked to see her.

“That's Knight Commander Meredith to you” the Captain scolded.

“Knight Commander?” he looked confused “Why are you here? I don't know anything about mages.”

“It's a personal matter, may I speak to you in private.” She said calmly

Colour drained from his face as if she was about to part his head from his body. “Sure” he said quietly

They stepped into a small closet with barely enough room for them to stand side by side. “I am carrying your child.” she said bluntly

He opened his mouth and then closed it before sputtering out “Wow, I am sorry for that. I feared this was what you wanted.”

“We have to get married as soon as possible. We can't have a scandal.”

He nodded slowly “Yes, of course we will get married. That is what my mother would want me to do. The right thing by the mother of my child,”

He grabbed her and held her close to his chest “Maker I'm going to be a father. That's going to take a while to sink in”

She forced a smile as they left the closet.

It was less then a week later when they stood at the alter in the Chantry. They wanted no pomp just a simple service. She wore a red dress feeling a white one would be inappropriate. Knight Corporal Risa stood by her side as a witness. Gordon's brother stood by his. The Grand Cleric married them as the statue of Andraste looked upon them.

It was decided they would make their home in her quarters in the Gallows. She would work from there and he would attend to his patrols usually during the nights leaving his new bride alone.

 

* * * 

 

She was showing by the time Orsino finally confronted her. “What have you done?” He nearly screamed at her” Did I mean nothing to you?”

“You mean everything to me” Meredith screamed back

“Then how could you marry and have a child with another man without even bothering to break it off with me?” he said furiously

“It is your child.” she said in a much quieter tone.

He face paled. “It's mine?” he said quietly

“Yes. That night in Nevarra...” she said cutting herself off.

“We made a baby” he whispered. “Does Gordon know?”

“No he will never know. We will raise the baby as his. You can't interfere.”

“I wouldn't risk something getting out.” he said

“Good” she said finally

“Can we still see each other?” he asked

“Gordon works at night. I am not going to stop you from visiting.” she insinuated.

 

* * * 

 

Months later he stopped by her office to bring her a cup of calming tea but was surprised to see Knight Corporal Risa sitting at Meredith's desk. “Hey Orsino, Meredith went into labour early yesterday. The baby was born last night.” she said.

“Is Gordon up there?” he asked

“No he is back to work. I am going up to see the baby after dinner are you going to stop in?”

“Maybe,”

That night past midnight he slipped into Meredith's quarters. She sat in her favourite chair and was sipping a cup of tea. She was staring lovingly at the tiny form in the bassinet by the fire. “I came as soon as I could” he said laying a small bottle of rum on the table 

“I couldn't think of anything that would be appropriate for a baby so I thought you and your husband might like a bottle of rum.”

“Fitting. I knew you would come.”

“What is it?”

“It is a girl.”

“What's her name?”

“I named her Vika, I said it was my grandmothers name.” she said grinning

He smiled “Honouring my family, thank you”

He looked over the edge of the bassinet and looked at his daughter. She was very small with skinny limb. She had a few light blonde curls and small beaky lips. “She has my mouth but fortunately she looks just like you.” he said proudly

“Thank the Maker, we dodged an arrow with that.” she chuckled.

“Can I hold her?” he asked nervously

“Of course.”

He gently lifted her to his shoulder pressing his lips to her soft chubby cheek “She's amazing” he said quietly bouncing the girl slightly.

“I know. It was worth the trouble to have her in my life.” she said full of pride of her new daughter.

 

* * * 

 

At the end of the following year Gordon expressed his desire for another child, “We have a girl. I think we should try to have a boy to even things out.” he said one evening before he left on patrol.

Meredith did not want to have a child with him. She didn't hate him. She was actually rather fond of the man. He was a great father to Vika spending most of the day with her and he had that laugh that shouldn't help but smile at. But he was stupid. That was what she told Orsino. The real reason was that she didn't love Gordon like she loved him.

Meredith and Gordon began having sex often in hopes of conceiving a baby but every night she spent with him she drank her contraceptive tea.   
She spent as many nights with Orsino and she didn’t drink her tea with him. She conceived in Wintermarch, she liked to think it was on Orsino's birthday.

Months later Gordon stood vigil by her side holding her hand. She didn't care it wasn't Orsino she just wanted someone to swear at. With a final loud gasp a cry started. The midwife lay the bloody baby on her chest, “A boy!” Gordon said with an ear to ear smile “Look at that he has his dad's dark hair.”

The boy had a mop of thick dark hair. He cut the cord and washed the boy, tears following down his cheeks.”Maker I didn't cry this much when Vika was born. Whats wrong with me today?” he said

“A first born son is special to a father.” the midwife said.

She remained quiet.

Things calmed down. She was nursing the new baby quietly in bed while Gordon was gone to get Vika's from his brother and sister in law. The silence ended when Vika burst in the door. “Mama where's my brother?” she squealed in her little voice.

“Right here.” 

She fixed her nightgown before the girl jumped on the bed. “What's his name? “She said climbing on the bed.

“August Stannard Ridgeway.”

“August? Last month was August.” the girl said confused

“It was also my fathers name. Like you were named after my grandmother.” she said to her daughter.

 

Gordon tried to convince her to buy a small home in the city but she vehemently declined, insisting she must remain close to the Circle. She instead emptied a store room down the hall and set up a small room for Vika. August slept in the small alcove of her sitting room.

 

* * * 

Gordon never asked for a third child. She never planned on having a third child but August was only five months old when her cycle just did not come. She was mortified the midwife had said the chances of conceiving while nursing were very slim. She should have had them pull out, she cursed herself. She was uncertain which of them was the father as she would often have Orsino at night and Gordon in the morning. 

Orsino was distant after she confided in him the problem. She struggled with the question until the day the boy was born.

Gordon named him Conor after his late father. She let him, it might actually be his son this time. 

Conor looked ambiguous, he had dark hair like his brother and a strong chin, which both of the potential fathers had. It wasn't until he was four months old when his eyes set in a vivid green she was hit with overwhelming relief that Orsino was indeed the father. “My mother had green eyes.” she told Gordon and he believed her blindly, not having an inkling that the three children that was raising weren't his.

She hired a nanny to raise her three children under the age of four while she ran the Gallows and her farce of a husband patrolled the streets at night.

Meredith and Orsino broke off their relationship in 9;31 after Vika asked her if he was her real father, She scolded the girl and banned him from her wing to avoid confusing the children further with his constant presence,

 

* * * 

 

Many years passed and watching Gordon hug and kiss and play with her children made her feel guilty. She had used him and thought he would've left many years ago but he tried hard to make their faux relationship last.

In 9:35 he woke her up with a platter of breakfast. “Happy anniversary” he whispered trying not to wake up Conor who was sleeping on her other side.

“Really?” she said groggily

“Ten years my love, we have married for a less then noble reason but we made it work.” he said excited.

“Yes” she said lying right to his face.

She thought after ten years she might actually fall in love with him but she still fought the urge to recoil from his touch. Though she and Orsino hadn't been together in four years she still felt as if she was committing adultery.

* * * 

She wrote a will in 9:37, not mentioning it to Gordon, confessing her indiscretions to be discovered upon her death.

After the rebellion and her death, Gordon took the children, then eleven, eight, and seven, to hide away at his brothers house in Lowtown. The will was discovered after the Seekers searched the tower. They sent Cullen to speak with Gordon, 

“There was a will found in her office. It may be a bit of a shock to you.” Cullen said,

“What do you mean?” said Gordon confused.

“Meredith wanted the children to be sent to Val Royeux into the care of the Grand Cathedral.” 

“Did she not see me capable to take care of my own children?” he said getting frustrated.

Cullen sighed “They...are not your children. She wrote that she had a long standing affair with Orsino and he was the father of all three of the children.”

Gordon blanched “No...no we conceived Vika the night we met I know that.”

“She stated she was already carrying his child, only a few weeks along, and she passed her off as yours. She married you to prevent a public scandal of an out of wedlock child,” Cullen said 

Gordon slammed his fist on the table before running his fingers through his hair and rubbing his forehead. “Fuck I thought she grew to love me like I grew to love her, but it was all a lie.” he said starting to sob “The damned thing was a farce, twelve years with her and it was all fake.”

Cullen wasn't sure how to comfort the man he had gotten to know over the past six years so he took his leave. A Seeker came and escorted the rather confused children to Val Royeux.

In the following years both Vika and Conor showed signs of magic and were taken to a tower.


	8. chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't even a rumour that she survived the rebellion

She left the Gallows the night of the rebellion, humiliated, shamed, and disbarred from the order. She was granted ten minutes by the new Knight Commander to gather her belongings and Ser Wentworth's sword before she was forced on a ship and set off unknown lands.

The rebellions spread across Thedas and then full out war broke out. The sky tore open and demons fell from the sky but she stayed hidden away in a dirty tavern in Rivain. Years passed and it killed her. When the Inquisition defeated the enemy she decided she was going to see out someone.

She wrote a letter hoping the recipient was still in the same place. She was elated when she received a response.

She set off the Val Royeaux and found the stone house. She reluctantly knocked at the door and was surprised when a young woman with her own eyes answered the door “Who are you?” the girl said

The words stung. She thought she'd know by just looking in her eyes but it was just a fancy. “I am here to speak to you and your mother.”

“Mother.” the girl called.

'She should be calling me mother' she thought to herself.

The insipid seamstress came to the door and smiled when she saw her “Come in, come in, I'll get a bottle of wine.” she said

“Mother it's only early afternoon wouldn't tea be more appropriate?” the girl said.

“You're going to need something to drink.” Ilya said.

The girl eyed the new woman “Who are you? Why are you here?” she asked curious  
“She's here for you.” llya said popping the cork and pouring three glasses “This is Meredith, your mother.”

Vikas jaw dropped. She fumbled with her hands and grabbed the goblet downing half the glass in one gulp. “They said... they said you were dead. Everyone believed you.” she sputtered.

“Cullen, that fool, sent me into hiding. He hated me in that moment I could see it in his eyes but, I could tell he still had some semblance of respect for me. If he didn't he likely would've just struck me down.” she scoffed.

“Cullen sent you into hiding? He told me you were dead. He lied right to my face about my own mother.” Vika said

“You're just one girl. No one besides me could say you were really my child. Everything else was just conjecture.” she paused “You can hit me if you like.” she stated.

“What? Why would I do such a thing?” she said aghast.

“You are my daughter, you probably have a bit of temper, you probably want to hit me so you can if you want.” she said

“I'm not going to hit you.” 

“Suit yourself.”

They sat in silence the only noise as Ilya's rings clinking off her wine glass. “Is there honestly nothing you wish to say to me?” Meredith broke the silence.

“I have nothing to say to someone who couldn't be bothered with me.” she said poison in her tone.

“It wasn't like that” she pleaded

“Oh? Then what was it? You not remember who knocked you up so you hid your unwanted bastard on the coast?” Vika spat.

Meredith grabbed the girl by the front on her dress. “Don't ever insinuate that I didn't care about you and don't insinuate that I don't know who your father was.” she snarled.

“Then who is he? Some prostitute you were fond of?” Vika said rudely.

She held the front of Vika's dress tighter, she could feel the threads ripping under her grip. “He was my partner for nearly ten years.” She said “and I loved him when I fell pregnant with you. I loved him when you were born and for several years after but things fell apart.” she said hurt in her voice.

Vika looked terrified and sat limply as she stretch her dress further. “Fuck” Meredith swore as she let go of her.

The dress was ruined. It probably cost more then she had in her purse. She glanced at the girl and could see her breast band and bodice underneath the dress. Her daughter wasn't a child. She was a woman.  
“I am sorry I lost my temper” she said quietly.

“Who was my father?” Vika asked reluctantly,

“I guess I can tell you, he is long dead.” she sighed “I am kind of ashamed but it was First Enchanter Orsino.”

Vika was silent, hand around the wine glass shaking slightly. “Mother did you know?” she said in a whisper.” Ilya nodded “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I was going to tell you eventually.” Ilya said.

Meredith sighed and slouched back in her chair, Her hands were shaking. She sat staring at the girl. She still couldn't believe she was here. There she was. Her baby. Her only baby. “How old are you now?” she asked 

“You can't even recall how old I am?” she snapped.

“I can barely remember how old I am.”

Vika sighed. “I'm seventeen,”

“So I am forty-six, I thought it was something like that.” she said 

There was another long pause. “How...” Vika started then stopped and downed her glass before finally getting out “How could you abandon me like I was nothing to you?”

She was near tears her face flushed with intoxication. “I...it was...I...I loved you so much, leaving you killed me.” she said from the heart.

“But you still did it.” she sputtered.

“I assume you're not a parent.” Meredith said,

“No.” she muttered.

“I doubt you ever even lay with a man.”

Vika turned red in the face “You couldn't possibly know what my situation was.”

“You were fucking some mage in secret and got pregnant. How shameful.” Vika said voice dripping with poison.

Meredith started to shake and the girl recoiled as if she was going to grab her again. “You going to grab me again? 'Cause this dress is ruined already might as well tear it too.” Vika said

“Are you afraid of me?” Meredith asked.

“N...n...no “ she stuttered.

“I'm not going to hurt you. I came her to...to... tie up loose ends with you.” Meredith said.

“You came to make me feel better?” Vika said with a raised brow.

“In a way”

“Well you're failing.”

“What can I say to make you just talk to me?” Meredith pleaded.

“There is nothing you can say to me.” Vika spat.

“Vika.. I...” she managed to get out.

Vika stood up and left the room leaving Meredith and Ilya at the table. “I don't know what to say to my own child.” she said grabbing her face in her hands.

“It's okay I also have issues talking to her sometimes and I have raised her from infancy.” Ilya said patting Meredith's hand. “I'll get her down for dinner try to get some more out of her. She can be talkative if you try enough.”

It was another two hours before the stormy girl came down to the tiny kitchen table. They sat in silence picking at the food in front of them when Vika finally said “Where did Vika come from? Why did you name me that?”

“Your great grandmothers name was Vika.”

“Your grandmother?”

“Your fathers.”

“Oh” she said quietly

“It is an elf name.”

“He was an elf?”

“Do you not remember?”

“I was so young I just remember him being very tall and wearing those black robes... so I am half elf?” she asked curiously

“Yes that is probably why you are so... narrow. Your shoulders I mean and your hands they're delicate like is. Clearly you are not big and broad with hands meant for a sword like me.” Meredith said.

“How old were you when you took up the sword?” she asked.

“Eleven, after my parents died I was cared for by a Templar, Ser Wentworth, he started teaching me as I wanted to join him in the order.” 

“Was your father a swordsman too?”

“No he was a carpenter.”

“Your mother?”

“She was a tailor. You take after her.” she couldn't help but smile as she said it.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“I had an older sister, Amelia, she was only a year and half older then me.”

“Is she alive?”

“No she died many years ago.”

“So there are no Stannards left?” Vika asked clearly saddened,

“None that I know of. Just you and I, well if you did as I requested and bring the letter to the Grand Cathedral?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Vika stood up and left again clearly the interrogation had ended, “Well that lasted longer then I thought it would.” Ilya said.

“What did you tell her about me to make her so hostile?” Meredith asked.

“Nothing. It's her own ideas of you.”

Meredith left their home and found lodging in a tavern not far from the home but did not visit again until several weeks later. Ilya answered the door “Is she here?” Meredith asked.

“No, she's gone back to Skyhold. She works for the Inquisition.”

“What does she do?”  
Ilya feeling it best she didn't mention the girl had magic said quickly “She sews uniforms.”

“I see”

 

* * * 

 

She went back to Rivain in her misery. Even her child wanted her to go back to being dead.

Five years went by and she received a letter from Ilya inviting her back to her home in Orlais. She reluctantly left again.

She knocked at the door and a young man with curly brown hair answered the door. “Who are you?” she asked.

“Your the one knocking on my wives door.” 

“I was invited.”

“Ilya!” he called.

Was this her husband? He was dressed in very mage like attire and there was a staff laid by the door. Did she marry a mage?

She entered despite the young mans protests. “Oh you're here!” Ilya said coming out of the kitchen “She's upstairs follow me.”

She followed her to a bedroom at the end of the hall. She opened the door and the girl was sitting on the bed with a small bundle in her arms. “What are you doing here?” Vika said noticing her.

“Ilya invited me.”

“Mother why would you invite her.” Vika asked rudely.

“I thought she might like to see her grandchild.”

“Boy or girl?” Meredith said walking slowly towards the bed.

“It's a boy, his name is Lysander,”

“How old is he?”

“Four months.”

“He is tiny was he premature.”

“Not that I know of.”

“You were also very small when you were born.” Meredith sad.

She looked over the girls shoulder and looked at the babies face. He looked like his mother, and his grandmother. She felt a tug when his eyes opened revealing vivid green eyes. Eyes she hadn't seen in many years. “Green eyes” she whispered.

“I don't know where he got them, my eyes are blue and Jamin's are hazel.” Vika said.

“Your fathers eyes were that exact colour.” she nearly whispered.

“Would you like to hold him?” she asked being polite.

“Of course” she said trying not to sound desperate.

She scooped the baby up and held him close to her chest. He cooed and reached a tiny hand out to grab her chin. “Hello little man” she rasped. “He looks like you.”

“So he looks like you?”

“You resemble your father a little bit and this little man does too”

“What was my father like?” she asked slipping out of the bed and walking towards her.

“He was a good man. He was dedicated to me for many years and when you came into his life he spent every bit he had on things for you. He wanted to do right by me, he asked me to marry him when he knew I was carrying you. But as you can deduce I said no.”

“Would they have allowed you to marry him anyway?” Vika asked

“No, not unless we both left the Circle.”

“And you weren't going to do that, even for me.”

“I...I put the safety of my city ahead of my personal life and I don't know if I could've raised you well if I had to have kept you.” Meredith said reluctantly.

She was silent as she stood shoulder to shoulder with her. “You're taller then me.” Meredith stated “You are built just like your father, tall and thin, You may look like me but you are more his child then mine.”

The baby brushed his tiny hand against Meredith cheek, Meredith started “I remember when you were born it was in the middle of winter and I was too large to squat down and light a fire, so I was lying under a pile of blankets on the bed. Just feeling you move inside of me. You must have experienced that yourself but it was exhilarating. You'd understand what it was like when the midwife lay you on my chest still covered in blood, it was the most amazing moment of my life. I thought I'd tell you that.”

“When Lysander was born he had mucus in his airway and they had to fiddle around with him before they could give him to me.” Vika said brushing her thumb across her sons cheek.

“The same thing happened to you. You didn't cry right away I was so frightened,” She said “You're too young to have a child, you're still that tiny baby to me.”

“I am twenty-two, hardly a child. I am married.” Vika said 

“When did you get married?”

“Ten months ago.”

“So you were already with child.” Meredith said with slight disapproval in her voice.

“You have no right to say anything to me about that.” Vika snapped.

“No, I didn't mean anything by it.” she paused thinking of something to relate to the girl “I doubt your mother told you this. I told her in confidence many years ago. I had a second pregnancy. You had just turned five. Your father asked me again to leave with him, take you and leave, but once again I said no. I was only two months along and I had planned to take whorehouse tea, I didn't want to have to go through what I did with you. I lost the baby before I could take the tea, Your father was devastated I could tell by the look on his face. We were no longer together and were barely on speaking terms. He proved how good of a man he was by staying by my side while I was bleeding out and in pain.”

Vika was silent, before sighing and sitting back down on the bed “Give him to me we are going to go down for a nap.” she said quietly.

“Can I talk to you before you go to sleep?”

“I guess.”

“Your child's father, man, husband I guess. Is he a mage?” She questioned

Vika loudly sighed “He is. He went through a Harrowing and is a spirit healer. He can't get possessed if that's what you worried about.”

“I was just curious. It's going to take time to adjust to mages being allowed to marry without special permission and have children.”

“You don't know do you.” Vika said ominously.

“Know what?”

“I'm a mage too.”

Meredith's heart dropped she felt a sudden overwhelming wave of guilt. “I... can't believe it. I am sorry you have to have such a burden. This must be my punishment for my sins.” 

“What burden? I've been a mage for twelve years. I've made a lot of money using my magic to enchant clothing.” Vika said.

She lay the baby on the bed next to her as she slipped under the covers. “We can talk about how much my existence has disappointed you with my birth when we wake up.” Vika said snidely 

Meredith left the room and went downstairs. “Is Lysander sleeping?” Jamin said from his spot at the kitchen table.

“Not yet” she said

“He was supposed to be asleep a half hour ago, he is going to be cranky.” he sighed “I am Jamin, we were never introduced.”

He reached out a hand and she took it apprehensively. “I am Meredith Stannard,”

His eyes almost burst out of his head. “Your Knight Commander Meredith? I thought you were dead, we all thought you were dead.” he said incredulously.

“Am I some kind of boogeyman?”

“I am from Kinloch Hold and we heard the stories of you before the rebellion, none of them good.” he said ominously “What are you doing here? Are you a friend of Ilya's?”

“I am Vika's mother.” she stated.

Jamin who had a cup of tea up to his mouth clearly opened it stupidly as a dribble of tea ran down his scruffy chin. “But her father was the First Enchanter and you...and...and...” he sputtered.

“I can't believe she never told you any of this.” she questioned.

“She told me who her father was and I thought that was shocking. This? Oh Maker.”

“Now I am your mother in law.”

“Yeah I guess you are.” he said defeated.

 

* * * 

 

Vika brought the baby downstairs after their nap, she sat at the table and reached out for Jamin. He put out his hand and he grabbed hers. “Where are you staying tonight?” Vika asked Meredith,

“Probably at the inn down the lane.”

“No” Ilya said “We have an extra bedroom, you will stay here.”

Vika looked disappointed.

They ate dinner the only conversation between Vika and Jamin discussing the baby.

Jamin took the baby up to the bedroom and Ilya went into the kitchen. Vika and Meredith were left sitting at the table in silence. “Will you go nurse him before he goes to sleep?” Meredith asked curious 

“Yes” Vika said quietly.

“I still can't believe you have a child.”

“We're planning on having at least two more,” Vika stated.

“Three children?” she said

“I had two brother, Jamin has a brother and a sister. So we thought three would be a good number.”

“I couldn't imagine giving birth three times and you were an easy birth.”

“It's worth it.” Vika said 

“That is were we differ.” Meredith said.

“So you wanted to be rid of me I take it?” Vika asked voice full of poison again.

“Yes” she said reluctantly.

“Why didn't you? That would've made both yours and my life easier,” she snapped.

“I had a suspicion I was with child but I was in denial. I went on a mission and collapsed and the healer in the village broke the cold hard truth to me.” Meredith said quietly.

“And you had quickened hadn't you.” Vika said,

“Yes.”

“So you were stuck with me.”

“I treasured every moment I had with you. Are you ever going to forgive me?”

“I have spent my whole life believing that I was thrown away like I was nothing and from what you have told me I was just an inconvenience to your power and status so I'm not far off.” Vika snapped a huskiness to her voice.

“I...I...never mind I will leave you,” 

She left and went back to her hovel in Rivain.

 

* * * 

 

Ten years later Meredith received a letter from Ilya. Vika had inquired about her whereabouts and wished to her see her again. She thought it had just been a ploy from Ilya to get the estranged mother and daughter to reconcile. Despite this she left to for Val Royeaux packing up all her belongings and selling her furniture. She needed a change she would go to the Grand Cathedral if this encounter with Vika never worked out maybe she could become a lay sister.

She knocked on the door of Ilya's stone house and a young boy answered the door. He had a mop of curly brown hair and those green eyes she would never forget. She felt a tug at her heart. “Who are you?” he asked in his sweet voice.

“I am... a friend of your grandmothers.”

“Gran!” he shouted and Ilya came to the door.

“Meredith! Come in, come in, Vika is out in town right now and I'm watching the children.”

“Children? Did she have three?”

“Yes , she must've told you that's what she planned on having. You already met Lysander, well you met him before but not as a boy just a baby.”

“Yes. Where are the other two?”

She guided her to the sitting room where a blonde girl about seven sat on the sofa reading a thick book “This is Myfanwy” Ilya stated,

Myfanwy looked up, she had her mother and grandmothers blue eyes. ”Hi” she said before going back to her book.

“She likes to read.”

Myfanwy grunted in response. “Where is Lillian?” Ilya asked.

Myfanwy shrugged. 

Meredith followed Ilya into the kitchen where a toddle sat at the kitchen table eating a peach pie with her hands. “This is Lillian, she just turned two.”

Lillian waved a sticky hand at them. She had dark hair and hazel eyes but like her siblings resembled her mother. “Your looks are very predominant.” Ilya said elbowing Meredith.

“Yes, all three of them look like me.” she said.

She sat at the table next to the little girl and lifted her into her lap. She was a tiny little thing. She could feel all her ribs when she wrapped her arms around her. “Are you feeding this girl?” Meredith said with jest “she is nothing but skin and bones.”

“She eats like a pig.” Ilya laughed “She eats sweets like you wouldn't believe I'm surprised she has any teeth left.”

Meredith squeezed the little girl tight and kissed her cheek. The little girl wrapped her arms around Meredith's neck and buried her face in her chest. “She's a cuddly one.” she stated,

“Vika was a snuggly baby too. She used to throw a fit when I'd leave her in her bed alone.” Ilya said.

“Mama” the girl said from her place in her grandmothers arms.

“Yes, your mama.” Ilya said in a high pitched voice.

They chatted in the kitchen until Vika and Jamin came home. Vika came into the kitchen with a basket of food. She kissed the babies forehead and said to Meredith “Can we speak in private upstairs after we have dinner?”

“Yes”

They ate, Meredith would have considered it quiet as the adults spoke little but the children were yammering on and on. 

After dinner the older children went off to play a game with their father. Vika picked up the baby and carried her upstairs. “Come on we'll talk while I bathe her and put her to bed,”

She followed her to the water closet where she held a flame to the water coming out of the tap, warming it to a nice temperature. She lifted her daughter into the tub and began scrubbing the stickiness off her face with a cloth. “You are good with her.” Meredith said,

“It's my third time around, I'm an old pro at this.”

“I remember the first time I bathed you. You were only a few hours old. I took you in the bath with me and I remember rubbing soap in your little blonde curls and scrubbing the last remaining bits of blood out of your hair.”

“I'm glad you had that.” Vika said not looking up from the tub. “My only childhood memory or you was when we were leaving Kirkwall and you picked me up and hugged me tight. I was terrified and I asked mother why you did that and she lied and said you were friends with my real mother. I would often ponder as to who she was.” 

“I guess years of not knowing is what built up your animosity.”

“I guess.”

“So why did you asked me to come here?” Meredith asked

“I want you to be in my children's lives. I've told them about their other grandmother and they have been asking about you. I wanted to say I am sorry for how I acted when I was younger. Our first meeting I was still a girl, a very angry, confused, little girl. And the last time I was a new mother and was overwhelmed by that. This time I am thirty-two, it's been two years since my last baby and I am ready to forgive.” Vika said sincerely.

“I will never expect you to understand why I had to let you go but I am glad you are forgiving me. I just want to let you know that even in my worst throws of madness I still thought of you, you were always on my mind and in my heart. I am sorry about what happened with your father. I loved him once and then I hated him and the very idea of laying with him in my past made me feel disgusted. Then I ordered his execution. He didn't die by my hands but I will always feel guilt about it because of what it did to you when your mother told you about me, about us.” Meredith said.

Vika lifted the tiny girl out of the tub and kissed her chubby cheek, wrapping her in a towel. She patted her dry and pulled a nightgown over her head “Come with me, we will tuck in her.”

She followed her into her bedroom where there was a small cot on the opposite side of the room. Vika lifted Lillian up, hugged her tight, and kissed her then lay her in the bed and pulled the blankets up over her body.

Meredith looked at the little girls face and leaned down and kissed her forehead. “She reminds me of your father.” her voice sounded strained.

“I wish I could have known him.” Vika said quietly.

“I wish so too” she felt a wave of guilt.

“I love you“ Meredith said as she embraced her daughter tight “the Maker blessed me with you and I am not worthy of you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She leaves the Order, alone.

“I am shocked.” Grand Cleric Elthina said staring at the woman in front of her.

“I deserve all punishment” Meredith said through gritted teeth.

“I don't feel I am an appropriate person to dole out such a punishment. I will contact the Knight Vigilant in Orlais, I will leave a certain detail out, but it will be his job to decide your fate and his.” She said laying a hand on her arm.

Meredith pulled away “I understand.” she said quietly.

She ran back to the Gallows and found Orsino in his quarters about to go to sleep. “Spend the night with me. It will be our last chance, I will probably be thrown out of the order and you will be sent away.”

He nodded and followed her silently up to her quarters.

 

She worked off his remaining robes and pulled him into her bed. His delicate fingers working there way across her body in the way she liked. They made love all night and in the heat of the late summer lay in each others arms skin bonded to each other. “Risa found out about us didn't she? She interrupted us last year she must've have a suspicion. She might of put it together,” he whispered lips lightly brushing her ear.

“No, I told her grace myself.” she whispered back.

“Why would you do such a thing?” he was aghast “We could've had many more years together.”

“No, we couldn't” she said looking away.

“Why not?” he pleaded.

“Because I'm with child.” she blurted out.

He paled. “Maker preserve us.” he rasped.

“I told her grace, she is contacting the Knight Vigilant.”

“We could've hidden you away, concocted some story.” he sputtered trying to comprehend.

“I couldn't do that.” she said quietly.

“What will they do to us?”

“I will leave the order I'll take a dishonourable leave if it means keeping this child, our child. They will likely just transfer you somewhere where I can't ever find you.”

“I can't imagine my life without you, you've been my friend for eleven years, my lover for nearly four. I need you.” he pleaded.

“I will miss you endlessly, I...I love you.”

She had never told him before and he managed to crack a smile.

 

* * * 

 

She formally stepped down as Knight Commander the next day, leaving Risa as her replacement. She left the Gallows and slept in the quarters for initiates in the Chantry.

The Knight Vigilant arrived and met with Meredith in private. He stripped her of all titles and pensions and cut off her lyrium supply. He then ordered Maceron and Risa to transfer Orsino.

She cleaned out the stash of bribes because honour was behind her. She sold the jewels and pocketed the gold. She went to the docks and caught the first ship out of the Free Marches. Orlais was the final destination.

 

* * * 

 

The journey to Val Royeaux was not kind. She was in withdrawal, shaking, head pounding, and the vomiting from the pregnancy did not help her. She took a carriage holding her growing belly tightly fearing the bumping would instigate premature labour.

She bought the smallest house. It was barely a house, it was a shack made of ancient red bricks. It was just on the outskirts of the Alienage. She felt it appropriate she could be open about the elven paternity of her child here no one knew her like they did in Kirkwall.

She summoned a midwife and she felt around the growing bump. “You're sure about the date of conception? Because this baby is very small, if you are seven months along.” she said

“The only time we slept together was after they were conceived I was already a few months pregnant.”

“Not to pry but when humans carry babies with elven fathers they tend to be smaller then a whole human baby.”

“Yes, he was an elf.” she muttered.

“Where is he? Why isn't he with you?” she pried.

“He is gone.”

“Is he deceased?” she said quietly.

“No, he's just gone from my life forever and it is my fault.”

The midwifes face was concerned “I'm sure it was not as bad as you say.” she chided,

“He is a mage” she hissed “they took him and sent him to a Circle that I don't know which I will never see him again.”

She fought back tears. The midwife lay a hand on her shoulder as Meredith rubbed her eyes “I can't be weak, I can't do this. I have to be strong.”

The midwife rubbed her back idly for several minutes as she tried to even out her breathing. “I suspect you are due shortly after the new year. I will be by every day when you get closer to the due date. I will give you the best care I can.”

After the midwife left she bundled herself up in the blankets on the lumpy bed. She had a fair amount of gold left over but she was not spending it excessively. She had to survive on her own for the remainder of her pregnancy and the year she would be nursing the child. Then she'd have to pay someone to mind the child while she worked.

 

* * * 

 

The second week of the new year was welcomed with labour pains. Meredith tossed and turned in the bed even after her water broke, waiting for the midwife to pop in. She arrived around noon and she had been labouring for nearly seven hours.

It wasn't long after the midwife arrived that she pushed one last time. It felt suddenly as if nothing happened, no pain. There was silence in the room. “Why aren't they crying” she gasped trying to catch her breath.

“Give me one moment,” the midwife grabbed something quickly from her bag and a moment after that a gasp came from the baby and it started to moan. 

The midwife lay the baby on her chest. 

“I've always wanted a daughter” she recollected him saying years ago “I would name her Vika to honour my grandmother, we were close during my childhood in Ansburg.”

She pushed the leg out of the way to check the sex “Your father would be so excited.” She said brushing a finger on the babies hand.

“I'm going to get you to push one more time to pass the afterbirth then I will wash the girl” the midwife said

 

She lay back on the bed finally resting her legs as she waited impatiently for the midwife to bring her back. 

She lay the girl in her arms and she lightly brushed her lips on the girls soft forehead. “Does she have a name?” the midwife enquired.

“Vika Stannard”

“A strong name.”

The midwife busied herself making a soup as she snuggled the baby. She was disappointed that the girl had little of her fathers appearance. She hoped she would have a visual reminder of him. She had his smile, his small chin, and the tiny dimple he had gave this girl two big ones.

 

She spent days in bed with the girl. She thought she'd never love anyone more then him but here was his child, their child, she had her heart the second she saw her. She hoped the girls eyes would set in her fathers green but when she was a couple months old they began to lighten into her light blue.

It was a very lonely existence. Just Meredith and the infant. She would bundle her up and take her for a walk through the crowded spring streets. She would purchase bread and other food stuffs and then go back into their small hovel. She would feed the girl small amounts of porridge and she would spit bubbles and smile her sweet smile and Meredith would have to grin. She was the light of her life, she was the only thing that would make her laugh. 

She would blow raspberries on her feet and she would laugh loudly and scream. She nursed the girl until she was almost a year old. She would have longer but Vika weaned herself off by refusing to be held for long enough and when she started biting she knew she had to stop.

 

* * * 

 

Meredith hired a young elf woman from the alienage to watch Vika while she worked as a guard for a noble family that lived in the nicer circle of the city. She would often work long days but Vika insisted on staying up until she came home at night and they would go to sleep together in the same bed. She would hold her tiny body to hers and snuggle her until they fell asleep.

One night, several years later, she had an evening off. So she hired the child minder for the evening and she went to a local pub. She sat at the bar and drank back a couple glasses of wine. “Hello” said a voice to her left.

She looked up and saw an elf man had slid up next to her “I'm Micah.”

“Meredith.”

“I've never seen you around here before. Are you new to the area?” he enquired.

She chuckled “I have actually lived here for five years I obviously haven't been around often. I must stick out like a sore thumb. Big blonde human in an alienage pub.” she said “I started working for Comte de Yeul as a property guard four years ago so I don't get many nights off. What do you do for a living?”

“I make barrels. It's unrewarding work but I have two children to support. Do you have any children?” he asked

“I have a daughter. She's five.”

“My daughter is also five. My son is seven.”

“Are you married?”

“Widower, she died three years ago, you?”

“No, never been married.”

“What about your daughters father?”

“I left him years ago.”

There was a long silence. She gazed upon his handsome face. She like many people found elves attractive but this man was especially good looking. He had short brown hair, the front spiked up casually. His eyes were big and dark green, his face. His face was very similar to Orsino's when he was younger. She hadn't had him when he was young.

“Did you want to come back to my place?” she proposed after an hour of chatting.

“Are you serious? I literally just met you and your inviting me to your bed.”

“You can come over for wine and then go home alone if you like.”

He scratched the back of his head idly “I guess I can do that.”

They walked together down the icy streets to the hovel “Come on in” she said

He followed her in and the sitter stood up “Meredith, Micah? I didn't know you knew one another.” she said confused.

“Yes, we have been acquainted for a while” she lied reaching into her purse. “You can head home now thanks for minding her.”

The young woman took her bits and left.

They sat at the table in the small kitchen and she poured him a glass of wine. “Do you entertain often?”

“Never actually, other then Sally coming by to mind my daughter.”

“You haven't had anyone since her father?” He said implying more then just as a house guest.

“No. I left him before she was born, she's never met him. It's just been us since we moved to the city.”

“I have had several women since Isla died.”

“Handsome man like you must have to fight off women.”

She smiled. “Are you one of those humans who fetishizes elves?”

“No, no. I...” she felt her face flush “Vika's father was an elf as well. You just remind me of him is all.”

“Is that so.”

He grabbed her hand from across the table. She recalled their first night together. Their affair started with something as simple as fingers intertwining.

She got up suddenly and walked into the small bedroom at the back of the house. He waited at the table confused until he saw her carry out a small blonde girl and lay her on the couch in the main room. “Come here” she beckoned and he walked across the room.

She pulled her into the room and closed the door behind him. She pushed him back on the bed and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. He raked his fingers up her back underneath her shirt and he pulled it off over her head as she lowered herself towards him to kiss him. 

He slipped off the rest of the clothes and she hers and they slid underneath the blankets. They lay together and she turned away from him after he rolled off her. “Are you okay?”

She sniffed and rubbed her eyes “I wanted this, needed this. But I feel like I've just cheated on him. You look like him and I thought it would make it easier but it made me feel worse.”

She took several deep breaths, fearing back the tears furiously. He wrapped his arms around her and lay his chin on her shoulder. They fell asleep in that position and Vika found them there the next morning. “Mama, mama, I'm hungry” 

She shook her awake. She immediately sat up covering herself with a blanket. “Just give me a moment sweet girl I need to get dressed.”

“Who's he?”

She pointed at Micah who was just starting to wake up. “This is my friend Micah.”

Micah waved as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes. “Go out in the kitchen and close the door. We'll be out in a few minutes.”

“She's a feisty one” Micah said pulling on his breeches “She must get it from you.”

“Ha. No she may look like me but she is so much like her father, always inquisitive.”

They ate eggs and porridge in the cold tiny kitchen. After they ate Micah went to leave “Next time I visit I'll bring my children so they can all play together.” he said.

He made good on his promise and one night not long after brought his two children, Rosie and Nile. They would play by the fire and read each other books. 

One night Rosie asked Vika “Why do you live in the alienage? You and your mother are humans.”

“My papa was an elf.” she said quietly

“Is your papa dead?” Nile asked out of curiosity.

“No, he is just somewhere else.” she muttered.

Micah and his children continued visiting weekly for years after. One night Micah got down on one knee and proposed. “I...I can't”

“Why not? Are my feelings not reciprocated?”

“No, I care deeply about you, I just can't marry you.”

 

* * * 

 

Things became complicated in 9:36 when one day Vika said excited “Mother look!”

She spread out her hands and a small orange flame appeared on her palm. Meredith was mortified. “Vika I...I hoped this wouldn't happen.”

“Mother” Vika said voice trailing off clearly seeing the look on her mothers face.

“Your father was a mage. I was terrified that any child born of our union would be a mage and today that terror has come true.”

“What's going to happen to me?” Vika said fear in her voice.

“We will go turn you in to the White Spire. You will undergo training then you will be tested. If you pass the test you will become a full fledged mage and will study in the Circle for the rest of your life.”

“I don't want to go”

“I am NOT harbouring a mage again.”

“Again? You mean father?”

“No your father was a Circle mage. I mean my sister, she was a mage. She became possessed and killed seventy innocents. I will not have a repeat of that.”

Vika silently packed her few belongings and they walked to the outskirts of Val Royeaux to the White Spire. “Have you ever been here before?” Vika asked breaking the tension between them

“In another life.”

They were surprised she turned her over without a fight “I used to be a Templar, I know better then to harbour a mage.” she told the Knight Commander.

He lay a hand on Vika's shoulder “Where did you serve?”

“It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now.”

“We will take care of her I promise you. She will have a long prosperous life. It does happen here.”

She knew better. She thought the last glimpse of her daughter as they closed the metal door would be the last time she'd see her daughter.

 

* * * 

 

Vika was transferred to Cumberland shortly after she arrived. The Knight Commander feared she was a flight risk.

She was introduced to the class of apprentices. A tall, older, elf man was teaching the class on elemental magic. When she introduced herself as Vika Stannard the man raised a brow.

After the class he grabbed her shoulder and took her to a private corner of the room. “Is Meredith Stannard your mother?” he whispered.

“Yes, did you know her when she was a Templar?”

“Yes.” he said quietly fumbling with his fingers.

“Did you like her? Was she a cruel Templar. I could picture her being militant.”

“We were very close.” he said dodging her question.

“How close?”

“I am your father close.”

Vika turned red and her mouth gaped open. “She spoke very little of my father she said he was kind and that he was an elf. She later told me he was a mage. She always just said you were gone, she left you and that was the end of it.” she said reluctantly.

“It was a lot more complicated then that. Your mother became pregnant with you and she, in her guilt, told the Grand Cleric, who called upon the Knight Vigilant to punish her. She was lucky the Grand Cleric didn't tell him she was carrying you, so she was dismissed quietly. I was transferred here and was never told what happened after. If they had known you were my child they would've taken you away at birth. That would have broken your mothers heart.” he said clearly emotional.

“She turned me over to the Circle when I started showing signs of magic, so clearly she wasn't that attached to me.” Vika said snide.

“She was a Templar, she wasn't going to have an unharrowed mage in her house. Did she tell you about Amelia?”

“Yes.”

“That is why she turned you over.”

Vika looked down “Now you must promise me you won't tell anyone I am your father, they would transfer one of us if they found out.”

“I won't.”

 

* * * 

 

Once the Circles fell Vika and Orsino travelled together to Orlais to find Meredith. 

They came to the hovel and Vika knocked at the door. Meredith opened the door and a look of shock was on her face as she looked from Vika to Orsino. “I never thought I'd see you again.” she said grabbing Vika in a tight hug.

“Maker, when did you get so tall? You're almost as tall as me now.”

“Orsino.” she said quietly and he embraced her tightly “I hoped she would find you. I prayed that the Maker would send her to you. To your care.”

They entered the hovel and Orsino pulled Meredith into him and kissed her ravenously. “Mother.... Micah?” Vika said uncomfortably.

“Orsino, I haven't been alone these years.” 

He raised a brow “I didn't expect you to be celibate. I assumed I would never see you again.”

“I've been acquainted with a man name Micah for nearly ten years.”

“Ten years? And you never married him?”

“I was always holding out, that someday we would be together again in life if not at the side of the Maker. I hoped we would marry someday.”

“We can if you like.” he suggested.

“We shouldn't stay in the city we will go hide somewhere out in the country side.” she said.

She packed up her meagre possessions and her sword.

 

* * * 

 

They travelled to Ferelden and settled near Redcliffe with the other mages. They married in a brief ceremony by a local mother and settled into a small cabin. Their bliss was only temporary.

The Templar's came and burned down their home while they were sleeping. They ran out grabbing Vika and their weapons and fought the Templar's.

Orsino lit several on fire. He conjured ice and barraged the nearby soldiers. Meredith fought off another, slicing off his arm through the weakness in the armour. He turned and saw a man walking towards Vika who was hiding by the burning cabin. Orsino threw himself in between them and the Templar impaled him through the stomach. Meredith turned and screamed and swung her sword at the offending Templar and lopped off his head.

She killed the other two in a blind rage before walking over to him and Vika laying on the ground. “He's dead.” Vika sobbed.

Meredith fell to her knees and lay on his bloody chest. She didn't cry, she was numb. She stood up suddenly and pulled the girl to her feet. “Come on we'll send his body to the Maker.”

Vika noticed her voice was husky. She grabbed his legs while her mother hefted his upper body. They lay him on the floor of the burning house and she said a prayer. Vika wiped away her tears as they burned her face. “Come on we'll stay in the Chantry in Redcliff. Don't mention your a mage.”

She grabbed her hand and led her away from their burning home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both run off after the rebellion

She ran up to her quarters to hide as the pandemonium down in the courtyard raged on. She opened the door and barred it behind her locking the door and dragged the table over and shoved it against the door. She would wait here until everyone left the courtyard. She would leave in the night with what she could carry and never look back on Kirkwall. What she had done was unforgivable. She, once parted from the ill gotten sword, realized her errs and guilt overwhelmed her.

She sat in her chair and just breathed. Her mind felt like it was hers again. She felt clear headed again. She underestimated the power of the red lyrium. She heard a noise from her bedchamber. She turned suddenly, stood up, and opened the door. 

Posed ready to ignite her was Orsino standing there looking terrified. “Maker what are you doing here?” Meredith said heart nearly beating out of her chest.

“I was hiding from the Templars, clearly that failed,” He said lowering his arms.

“I am not a Templar anymore.” she said quietly “Cullen forced me to step down. They cancelled the Rite of Annulment, you can go surrender now. I'm sure they won't kill you if you ask nicely.”

“I am not surrendering.” he said with finality

“What will you do then?”

“I'll leave when things die down maybe go to Rivain, things are less stressful there. Where will you go?” he asked.

“I may try to find Vika.” she said looking his straight in his eyes.

“Can I... can I come with you?”

“I guess you can.” she said shouldering past him and sat on the bed.

Without thinking twice she said “Want to have sex?”

He looked dumbstruck “Are you serious? Less then an hour ago you were dead set on killing me and my charges and now you want me in your bed? I knew you were mad.”

“I am being sincere. I want you. Right now. If you'll have me.”

He sighed and sat down “We haven't been together in six years.” he stated laying his hand on hers.

She didn't withdraw. She intertwined her fingers in his with tenderness and a subtle hint of affection. It was as if nothing had happened in the past twelve years, “Can you still get it up?” she said with a wicked grin “You are an old man now.”

He reached up and brushed his thumb against her cheek. He smiled and said “You aren't a spring chicken yourself.”

She leaned towards him and kissed him lightly. His lips were dry, they didn't feel like they had their last night together. He pulled back her hood and took off her tiara, running his fingers through her curly hair.

He started undoing her armour dropping each piece of plate to the floor. He struggled undoing her belt, as she lifted his outer robes over his head. “You are struggling.” she said with a mocking tone.

“You used to wear significantly less then this when we were together.” he said pulling her tunic off.

She lay there in her small clothes and her looked at her body. It had changed. She wasn't twenty-five anymore, that was the image of her he always remembered. She was forty she was still in shape but carrying their daughter had had an effect on her. Long faded stretch marks like white stripes clawed up her sides and stomach, there was a slight pooch to her stomach. Nothing that an unknowing eye would notice. 

Despite the years apart intimately he still knew her, knew what she liked. He slipped her band off and traced kissed down her body, grabbing a nipple in between his teeth lolling his tongue over the tip. She squirmed beneath him. 

He slid off his small clothes and entered her. She was silent other then a light sigh. She dug her nails into his shoulder blades. She leaned up and ground her hips into his. She traced his ear with the tips of her fingers and he shuddered. She rolled him over pinning him beneath and she rode him hard. He thought he would finish then but he wanted to bring her with him. 

He sat up and pushed her over and entered her from behind thrusting until he felt her tighten around him. She exhaled heavily as he finished inside her and collapsed on the bed next to her.

“I always had feelings for you. Even when we wished death upon each other. When you spitefully cursed my very existence. I always loved you...just a little bit.” he rasped.

She wasn't facing him so he couldn't see what her expression said. He curled into her back like they had hundreds of times fifteen years previous.

 

* * * 

 

He woke the next day and she was packing her commoner clothing from her wardrobe at the foot of the bed. “Good morning” he said.

“You should go pack what you could carry from your quarters and meet me in my office, we will leave from there.” she said not looking at him.

He ran up the tower and packed the few garments he had that weren't obviously that of a mage. He ran down to the entrance of Templar Hall. Meredith was waiting with a footlocker under one arm and her old sword in her other hand. She looked very different, she had put her hair up in a braid and applied lipstick. “Come in here.” she said waving him into her old office.

She pushed him down into her chair and took a pair of scissors to his hair, chopping off the longer hair on the back. Before her could protest she took out a bottle of black shoe polish and began pouring it into his hair, covering up the grey. “What are you doing?” he protested.

“Making you look different.” she stated closing the bottle.

“If anyone asks, my name is Mary and you are Orson.”

He nodded.

 

* * * 

 

They left Kirkwall and took ship to Denerim. They landed and spent a year there. Word reached them that rebellion had started all over Thedas and they eyed each other nervously.

She began writing Ilya hoping she was still in Val Royeaux. Ilya insisted she not visit. It was too dangerous, and to wait until the war was over.

They moved to Amaranthine and waited out the war there. They slept in a run down inn in a lumpy bed so small they had to sleep intertwined. “What do you think about having another child?” she whispered one night.

“You must be joking” he said agitation in his voice “I am nearly sixty years old. I should be welcoming grandchildren, not children. Besides you must be starting your change soon. The chances of conceiving are slim.”

She sighed and lay her head on his thin chest. “It was slim. But it happened.” she whispered.

He was silent for a moment “You're with child?” 

He sounded scared. “I haven't bled in what soon will be three months. If you haven't noticed, I have been ill and my breasts are sore.”

“Why didn't you tell me sooner.”

“I wanted to be sure. I was scared I might miscarry again but soon I will quicken and I will feel them move inside me.”

“Shit.” he swore under his breath.

“You're displeased.” she said a hint of hint in her voice.

“I...it's just so unexpected. Did you miss a tea or was it the shitty witherstalk in Denerim?” 

“I haven't taken the tea in years.”

“Why not?” he said anger in his voice.

“I left it up to the Maker. He would decide if we would have another child,”

“This is so unlike you, you were always so careful.”

“I have nothing left in my life. I just thought I might try to start a family. Something to live for. Something to dedicate my life too.”

He sighed and rubbed her back. “We will make this work.” he whispered “We will have to prepare for the baby. Buy a crib, nappies, and swaddling clothes.”

“Wait until I quicken. I don't want to buy everything and lose another child.” she whispered back.

 

They moved into a hovel in a back alley. It was what they could afford on what pittance they were paid at their jobs. Orsino an apothecary Meredith, formally a guard, presently a grocer.

The following months passed quickly. This pregnancy was hard on her. She had been sick with Vika but it did not compare to the misery she was in. The midwife said it was because she was past childbearing age, Meredith thought it was because of the lyrium, red and otherwise, She had quit cold turkey. She vomited with muscle spasms and the headaches were the worst she had ever felt. She begged he smother her and put her out of her misery.

In the nights after they got off work they would lay on the bed and he would rub her back and feet. “I never thought we would do this together,” Orsino said one night.

“I didn't think I'd do this again but the Maker blessed us with this last chance.” she said

He shook his head. “What are you shaking your head about?”

“We weren't using contraceptives, it was more our doing then that of the Maker.” he said 

“Your faith is weak” she scolded.

“It has always been.”

“Explain Vika's birth then. We were using contraceptives then and we still conceived her.” 

“You told me yourself the tea wasn't the same as we used in Kirkwall and it just wasn't as effective.” he said

She sighed and lay back on the bed. The time was coming soon, another winter baby.

 

* * * 

 

It was Haring, near the end of the year, when she felt the pains start. She dismissed herself from the grocer. She went to the apothecary, grabbed him, and sent him to get the midwife.

She went back to their home and pulled off her apron and tunic, changing into a nightgown. She lay on the bed and curled up from the pain racking her body. He came home with the midwife in tow and rushed to her side. He rubbed her back as she cursed at him. She pulled herself to the side of the bed and began feverishly praying. “Maker, grant me the strength to bear this child you have blessed me with. I beg you see that this child is happy and healthy and the birth is swift and easy.”

He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her. They lay together on the bed, hands intertwined as the hours passed and the contractions grew closer together. It came time to push and she held his hand in a vice grip.

It took a half hour of pushing before the midwife urged one more good push. She gritted her teeth and gave it her all. The pain stopped suddenly as the baby came out screaming. “Oh Andraste” Orsino said his voice husky as the midwife handed him the baby.

She was suddenly racked with pain again. “I think we have another one.” the midwife said excitedly.

“You must be joking,” she said through gritted teeth.

“No, I see another head.”

“Maker's balls” he swore cradling the bloody baby close to his chest.

“What is it?” she said in between waves of pain.

He looked down and then smiled “It's a boy.” he said cheerfully

She reached out to touch him but another contraction hit and she pushed again. “I'm not surprised its twins. It's more common when the parents are older. I've delivered them before, the second baby is easier. I promise.” the midwife chided.

“Shut up.” she snapped,

It took another ten minutes before the baby came out. It was silent. “Is there mucus in the airway.” Meredith said alarmed.

“No they're breathing just fine, they're just not a crier.”

She lay the baby on her chest. “A girl” she whispered.

“One of each.” the midwife said happily.

“Two girls and a boy actually.” he said “we have a thirteen year old girl who lives in Orlais...with relatives.”

“So you must be old pros at this.” she smiled

“No, no, no, We are amateurs I assure you” he said.

The midwife left a few hours later promising to check in the next day. They sat on the bed with the babies laying on the bed on their laps. “So, baby boy looks like you and has black hair. And baby girl also looks like you and also has dark hair. This will get confusing.” he said.

“She looks a bit like you. More then Vika does anyway.”

“What of names? Did you have any picked out.”

She had no clue. “Well, Vika was named after my family how about we name them after your parents? August for the boy, Alys for the girl.”

“Amelia for the girl.” she said quietly.

“I didn't suggest because I wasn't sure what you'd say about it.”

“I loved Amelia, despite everything that happened.” she said quietly.

“They will both be Stannards. It's better then no name.” he stated as he lifted the girl to his chest,

“We're going to have to buy another crib.” he said

“Not for a while, they're so tiny they can sleep together comfortably.”

The boy started to wail and the girl started to moan subtly. “Please don't tell me they're both hungry.” she said sighing.

She nursed the boy first as the screaming was more irritating. He sucked ravenously until he started to doze off. “Burp him.” she said switching sides for the girl.

“I am going to go insane when you're not here.”

“You handled Vika for the first two months. They say that's the hardest time.”

She scoffed as she lay the girl against her knees and patted her back “That was one infant, this is two. I'm also almost fourteen years older and have that much less patience.”

 

* * * 

 

She spent the next year laying on the bed. They had no room for a couch and the chairs in the small kitchen were not very comfortable.

The sky tore open and rifts started appearing around Orlais and Ferelden. She was terrified Vika was in Val Royeaux among all the chaos. She prayed Ilya would keep her safe like she had promised her.

She found herself praying a lot after the birth of the children. She had always had a strong faith but the last years before the rebellion she found it waning. Once they rekindled their forever dysfunctional relationship, she began secretly praying for a child.

He had told her they would never marry. A stark contrast from him proposing marriage twice when she was with child the first two times. She didn't feel like prying as to why he refused but she would still try to have his child, legitimate or not.

Now she looked down at her only son and he smiled a big smile, showing off the four little teeth he had recently grown. His big blue eyes sparkled. She was smitten. She had a unique relationship with her second daughter. She looked like her father, well more then her siblings. She had his big green eyes, his small mouth, and his chin. She was quiet, rarely cried, slept through the night and loved to cuddle. She would spend hours in her mothers arms.

The boy was more boisterous. They had to buy a separate crib sooner then they expect as he was proving to be a real brute. Flailing his arms, screaming, pulling his sisters hair, and hitting her. He was a screamer, still didn't sleep through the night and didn't like to be held for long periods. She had been forced to wean him early and he started biting her, hard, with his new teeth. He was more like her, Orsino said one night as the boy grabbed his ear and yanked hard.

War came and he worked long days making potions and poultices to send off the foundling Inquisition. Meredith heard that Cullen had been taken in as the organizations Commander and she felt a bit of prides. She had trained him to be the leader that he became. She was tempted to write him but decided against it, knowing he likely wouldn't want to hear from her.

 

* * * 

 

Word spread quickly in 9:42 that the mark in the sky had been closed. Ilya sent a letter stating that she had sent Vika to serve the Inquisition after she turned sixteen.

Sixteen. She pondered as August slammed a toy wooden hammer on a chair in the kitchen. “August” she said exhausted,

He turned and said “Mama, loose nail.”

She lay on the bed with Amelia reading her a story about Dane and the Werewolf. These two babies were going to be three at the end of the year and her first born was sixteen. She was now forty-five and Orsino was sixty-two. Maker he was old. She told him that night at dinner. “I know,” he said “I am starting to feel old.”

“With your hair dyed black you certainly don't look that old.”

“Hair dye isn't going to make me live longer. My father dropped dead at fifty-five. I don't want to died before they grow up, but I am at the age where I could literally drop dead.”

“Your mother is in her eighties, maybe you'll take after her.”

“Mama” Amelia said in a small voice patting her arm from her position on her lap.

“What sweet girl?”

“I have to go.” 

She sighed and picked her up “We'll take about you dying after our daughter has a trip to the water closet.”

 

“Papa” August said reaching for a bun at the centre of the table. “Papa!”

Orsino grabbed a bun and tore it into pieces that August promptly stuffed into his mouth. He smiled and said “You, my son, are going to be a monster.”

 

* * * 

 

In 9:44 they packed up the few possessions they and the now four year old twins and travelled to Val Royeaux. “She said it was on the corner of this street.” she said looking up from the recent letter from Ilya.

“What are we going to say to her? Hello, we had you in secret and abandoned you as an infant but we are here with your siblings to make amends,” he said panic starting in his voice.

“I don't know” she said quietly

“She will likely have a few issues and a few choice words for us.”

“Let's pray for the best” she said 

He knocked at the door and Ilya answered. “Orsino! So good to see you, it has been too long.”

She embraced him tightly. He was baffled at her reaction. They had spoken very few words to each other in Kirkwall. “Meredith, you look divine with your hair up.”

She knew she looked like shit. Travelling with four year olds drains all your essence, “And who is this?”

Amelia hid behind her mothers legs. “This is Amelia” Meredith said “She is very shy.”

“I am August.” he said from his fathers side.

“Well come on in. Our special lady is out in town buying a cake for dinner.”

“Does she know we're coming?”

“Not a clue.”

 

* * * 

 

Meredith took a nap on the sofa in the sitting room with Amelia. August banged pots in the kitchen while Orsino and Ilya chatted in the dining room. The door opened and Vika came in cake in hand. “Mother!” she called out as she entered the kitchen.

She stopped when she saw Orsino. He watched her eyes narrow as recognition flashed in her eyes. “I know you.” she said

She lay the cake down on the counter and sat down. Meredith came into the room with Amelia in her arms. Vika looked shocked “Your dead. And your dead!” she sputtered “And there's a damned baby? Mother? Why are they here?”

“To see you.”

“Vika” Meredith said “I have a lot of things to talk to you about.”

But before she could continue she stood up suddenly and ran upstairs, “Well that went well.” he said sarcastically.

 

She came down to dinner and sat down glaring at August. “There's two of them?” she said incredulous.

“They're twins” Orsino said “It's more common in older parents.”

She said nothing else the rest of the meal and left before the cake was served.

The children were all over the cake. Eating the sweet icing off the top and leaving the cake part untouched save for little tooth marks.

After dinner Meredith brought the two sticky toddlers into the water closet and filled the tub with warm water. She pulled off her outer tunic leaving her just in her undershirt and pants. She fought to get August and Amelia out of their clothing and into the tub.

She was on her knees scrubbing the icing off Augusts face when she say Vika come in and kneel next to her by the tub. She grabbed the soap and began scrubbing Amelia's long dark hair. “Do they know who I am?” she asked rubbing soap out of the girls eyes with a cloth as she hissed and made a slight shrieking noise,

“They know they have an older sister.”

“Half sister” he stated.

“No,”

“He is my father?” she asked eyes wide,

“We were together for many years before we split in 9:31 and then we rekindled our relationship after the rebellion. Do you remember him from when you were a little girl.”

“I remember him being a lot greyer.”

“He dyed his hair to appear different after we fled Kirkwall.”

“I see.”

She looked down and rubbed Amelia's face again with the cloth. “So you kept these two.” she said harshly.

Meredith was taken aback. “The circumstances were extremely different.” she said pulling the plug out of the tub. 

Lifting August out wrapped in a towel. She handed a towel to Vika and she wrapped the little girl in the towel and lifted her out of the porcelain tub. “She is so tiny” she said.

“You were a similar size as her at that age.”

She handed her Amelia's nightgown and she slid it over the girls head. “He is a monster.” she said gesturing to August, who was at least three inches taller then his sister.

“You would never think his father is an elf.” she mused.

“Was that why you hid me away?”

“There was many reasons, we can discuss them later when these two are asleep.”

“I can help you put them to bed.”

“You like children?”

“Before my brother Russ moved to the Anderfels, he was always bringing his children here. They were so sweet.”

“Are you going to have your own someday?”

“Yes, once I found an appropriate man to be their father.”

“Have you ever lay with a man?” she asked curiously.

Vika turned red. “I'll take that as a no. I had a lover when I was your age. He was a soldier, he ran off to fight in Nevarra and never came back.”

“When did you take up with my father?”

“I was...” she paused “twenty-five, we were together four years when you were born.”

“Hold old was he?”

“He is sixteen and half years older then me so he was forty-one.”

“He was that old? Is that old? He is sixty-four now?”

“Yes, he was concerned when I was carrying the twins that if he died suddenly what would happen to us. I'm sure we would be fine now but it would be awful for the children.”

They ushered the children to Aaron's old room and they were tucked in the bed. The little girl held onto Vika tightly and did not want to let go “Amelia” her mother scolded.

“Will me sister be here when I wake up?”

“Yes,” she said assuring her.

“Goodnight” August grunted before rolling on his side away from them.

 

* * * 

 

They went downstairs and sat on the sofa. “Were their names chosen to match on purpose?” Vika asked.

“August was my fathers name. He suggested we name her Alys after my mother but I decided to go with Amelia after my sister,”

“What about my name?”

“Orsino's grandmothers name was Vika, they were very close before he was taken to the Circle.”

“Stannard is your fathers name?”

“Yes.”

Vika took a long drink out of a glass of wine “So...”

Meredith sighed. “I dreaded the day I'd have to have this talk.”

She reached out and lay a hand on Vika's shoulders. “I just couldn't keep you when you were born” she said looking down. “I was young but not that young I shouldn't yet be having children but I was single as far as everyone knew, no husband, no betrothed, not even a casual lover. Our relationship was always a secret, it still is. We took up new identities when we moved to Ferelden. It couldn't get out the consequences were dire. I would be disbarred or transferred to watch over a laundry room in some small circle in a backwater community. He would be sent away never to be heard from again. And they would have taken you away from me. I never wanted that for you. The Chantry would have likely raised you as some initiate. I wanted you to have a family that could raise you up to be the person you should be.”

“But what if you just never told anyone who my father was?” Vika said looking rather pale.

“It wasn't that easy. Like I said there was no known man in my life it would have been a massive scandal. I had to keep my respect I was running the city. If I had a fatherless child the Chantry would frown upon me as would the nobles of Kirkwall. I would've lost my power. “

“So you left me for power?” Vika said harshly.

“If I had raised you when I was in my late twenties and early thirties I wouldn't have been a good mother to you.”

“You seem to have taken to the little ones just fine,”

“I was fourteen years older when I had them. I wasn't Knight Commander, I wasn't a Templar, and I had my partner in a position where we could pass off as married and he could actually be a father,”

Vika was silent then she rubbed her eyes and began to sob. Meredith reached out a hand and lay it on her shoulder. Vika turned and threw herself at her chest. Meredith was surprised, but lay a hand on her back and began rubbing attempting to comfort her eldest child.

Vika was taller then her, but thinner, very dainty and delicate. She smelled like expensive perfume and wore an immaculate scarlet dress. She wore her hair in intricate braids, common among her adoptive mothers culture. But despite these differences there was no denying this girl was their child. She had her fathers chin and lips and his stubborn yet often light hearted personality. She had her mothers pale blonde curls, something neither of her siblings had. She had her striking blue eyes, her brow and her nose. She wrapped her arms tightly around Vika and lay her chin in her head.

Vika stood up after a while in her mothers arms and wandered out to the kitchen. Orsino was sitting at the table reading a book. “I just spoke with her.” she said clearing the remnants of tears out of her throat and nose.

He lay the book down and looked up at her.”How did that go?”

“I guess I understand. I just wanted to talk to you about the situation.”

“She never told me she was with child. I knew she was, I wasn't stupid there were obvious signs. I proposed marriage but she obviously said no. She left shortly after came back many months later with no baby and I didn't know what happened to you. I didn't even know if you were a girl or a boy. It was nearly five years before I finally mustered up the courage to confront her about what happened to you and she finally broke and told me about you. We split up that night and we didn't rekindle our relationship until six years later, the night of the rebellion. Things were slow getting back to what they were before you were born, we had had so many secrets between us. We were finally starting to get back on track when she dropped the bomb that she hadn't been taking her tea and she was pregnant again. The Maker seemed to want us to be parents together but Andraste's tits I was terrified, it was like the other times.”

“Times? Plural?

He sighed “It was after we split up we had one last fling then everything went to shit. She came to me a couple months later and told me she was with child. I asked her to marry me again. Again she said no and she asked me to get whorehouse tea. But nature got there first. It was a miscarriage. I was devastated and that was the last nail in the coffin of ou failed relationship.”

Vika sighed “I was a real inconvenience wasn't I?”

“Don't say that. Once I saw you the first time you were the light of my life. I am so glad you were born despite everything.”

“Do you wish you could've raised me?”

“I doubt you'd be the young woman you are today if I had a say in your upbringing. I was in no position to be a father.”

“I think you're doing a good job with August and Amelia.”

“That's kind of you to say but August, dear sweet August. He will drive me to the bottle. He is just like your mother, the most stubborn creature I have ever had to deal with.” he said with a smile,

 

Vika went to bed that night, mind full of the conversations she had had with her long lost parents.

 

* * * 

 

Vika woke up the next morning with someone snuggled up next to her. She opened her eyes and saw a small dark head curled into her chest. She lay back and blinked. 

It was Amelia, her chubby face was squished on her arm. She looked like Vika. The boy looked exactly like their mother but the girls had a bit of their father in them. She kissed her forehead and she started to stir. “Hi” Amelia whispered blinking her big green eyes.

“Hi” Vika said.

Amelia smiled and showed off her dimples. “August kept kicking me. I didn't want to sleep in the bed with him anymore and I know Mama is sleepy so I came in here. I hope you don't mind.” she said very quickly.

“That's okay, you didn't wake me up.”

Vika rolled onto her back and Amelia climbed on to her chest and pressed her face against her chest. “You're a cuddly one” Vika said rubbing the girls back.

“I like when Mama and Papa hug me. August is always too rough.”

She wiggled a little bit and then started again “I was really excited to come see you.” she said with a big smile.

“Did they tell you that's why you were coming to Orlais?”

“Yes. Mama always told us we had a big sister in Orlais. I was always asking when I'd get to see you.”

“I didn't know I had a baby sister.” she told the girl who looked shocked.

“Really?! Mama said you had two Mama's and you lived with your other Mama, she didn't tell you about us?”

“No, but I have two other brothers.”

“Are they my brothers too?”

“No, they're just mine. They're really old. Aaron is twenty-one and Russell is thirty-seven.”

“Your brother is almost as old as Mama.”

“Yeah, he has three children and two of them are older then you.”

“Do you have children?”

Vika laughed “No, I probably won't have any for a while. So you won't be an aunt for a while.”

“I don't want to be an aunt until I am ten”

“We'll see about that.”

The girl squished her face against Vika's breast, giggled, and said “Squishy.”

They stayed in bed until there was a knock at the door “Vika?” Meredith called through the door.

“Come in”

The door opened and she entered slowly. “Oh she is in here, I was starting to get worried.”

“Yeah” Vika said patting the girls back as she violently shook her head against her chest.

“Amelia, I have to get up now.”

The girl squeezed tighter “Come on kid”

Vika lifted her up and dropped her on the other side of the bed. “Do you want a fancy dress?” she asked the girl and her face lit up.

“Really?”

“I can make you one.”

“Can you braid my hair too?”

“I can do that.”

 

* * * 

 

 

Amelia sat at the kitchen table as Vika stood behind her braiding her straight black hair. It was killing the girl to not rock back and forth “Mama Vika said she'd make me a dress.”

“That's nice. You know you'll have to stand very still while she's making it . Can you do it?”

She nodded. August eyed Vika braiding his twins hair and said “Can you do my hair too?”

“Your hair is too short to braid, it'd need to be at least two inches longer.”

“Oh” he said disappointed.

“I take it you don't want a dress.”

He scoffed “Dresses are for girls”

“I can make you a coat like the Inquisitor has, if you like.”

He raised a black brow obviously intrigued “Maybe.”

“How long are you planning on staying?” Vika asked Meredith.

“We are going to find jobs and a home here in the city, if you don't mind us intruding in on your city.”

“I will be nice having the children close.”

 

* * * 

 

After breakfast Vika took Amelia upstairs to the work room. She draped her in fine fabric and pinned it using telekinetic magic. Amelia never noticed but Meredith did when she entered the room to observe. “You are a mage?” 

She sounded aghast “Yes” Vika said nonchalantly as Amelia's eye widened.

“You have magic like Papa?”

“Yes, I must've got it from him. I always wondered where I got it.”

“I am sorry” Meredith said finally finding her words. “I gave you this curse.”

“How? By fucking a mage? 'Cause you clearly don't have a problem with that now.” Vika said harshly clearly annoyed.

“What does fucking mean?” Vika peeped from in between them.

“It means laying with someone,” Meredith said quickly.

“It's how you make babies.” Vika added waving several more pins into the dress.

“You fuckinged Papa?” Vika asked curiously.

“That is not a very nice thing for a little girl to say,” Meredith said dodging the question.

“But did you?” she persisted.

“Yes,” she sighed “Don't say that word again and certainly don't tell August promise?”

“Promise” she said sweetly.

Amelia stood very still as Vika sewed the dress, added trim, and accented in with small jewels. “There we go, all done.” Vika said leading Amelia to the mirror to the side of the room, 

“Very pretty. I look like a princess.” She said smiling ear to ear showing of her dimples.

“What do you say? Meredith chided out of habit.

“Thank you.” Vika said automatically.

“Did you want anything Meredith?” Vika asked eyeing her through the mirror.

“No, thank you. You can call me mother if you like.”

“I don't know. Two mother's is a bit confusing.”

“Whatever is comfortable for you.”

 

* * * 

 

 

Augusts turn was next. He felt all the leathers before deciding on purple ram leather. “Inquisitor Trevelyan wore a coat made of ram leather as well” she told him.

He was really excited a she measured his shoulders, back, and arms. He left as she started stitching the leather to his measurements. He had lost interest fast. Sewing was boring.

She presented him the coat before dinner and he put it on immediately flexing his tiny muscles “I'm an Inquisitor.” he said.

Vika smiled. He also had dimples. Cute little thing.

Meredith, Orsino, and the children spent several more days in Ilya's house before moving to a small home across the city. The visited often until Vika decided to head to Nevarra to attend the College of Enchanters.

 

* * * 

 

She was gone for five years before coming home with a new husband. Jamin was a young mage from Ferelden. Meredith eyed him up when they first met. He was a handsome young man with big hazel eyes and curly dark hair. Meredith still had a hint of anxiety with another mage in the family.

When Meredith embraced Vika upon her homecoming she felt something out of place. “Are you with child?” she asked shocked.

“Yes.” she said as if embarrassed.

“Wow.” she was taken aback. She was just a child she thought before reminding herself that she was a woman in her own right. She was in her twenties, not much younger then she had been when Vika was born. And she was married. Her baby she had once snuggled alone in a shack by the sea was going to be a mother.

 

When the time grew close Meredith insisted they use a midwife. “Mother Jamin knows how to deliver babies. I am sure he can delivery his own.”

 

* * * 

 

 

The whole family stressed downstairs the night Vika was in labour. Meredith, Orsino and Ilya sat at the kitchen table. Amelia and August were playing chess in the sitting room. It was past midnight and no one dared fall asleep. She looked up when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Jamin came into the kitchen with the biggest smile on his face. “It's a boy.” he exclaimed. “Come up,”

Meredith and Ilya immediately went upstairs and entered the room. Vika sat on the bed with the tiny baby in her arms. Meredith waited for Ilya to embrace her before going over to her kissed her still sweaty head and wrapped an arm around her awkwardly. “Congratulations.” she whispered.

“Want to hold him?” Vika asked.

She reached out her arms and she lay the tiny boy in her arms. “Maker he is beautiful.” she said brushing her fingers over his cheeks. 

He had big cheeks, beaky lips, button nose, and sandy coloured curls. “I am proud of you.” she said to Vika as she sat down on the bed next to her.

“He is the next generation of Stannards.” Vika stated.

“Jamin doesnt have a name?”

She shook her head “What is his name?”

“Lysander Stannard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last one i came up with there wasn't much interest but i wanted to write them anyway. Even if you're reading this years down the line you can always suggest something and i might come back and write chapter eleve


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